Actual Conversation

After worship yesterday....

* Note: announcements regarding shared worship through Holy Week have been made in church, newsletter, and power point for at least six weeks.


Me: Good morning! It's lovely to see you!

Other Person: So, you're not doing anything for Holy Week then.

Me: (showing back of worship bulletin) All of the services for the week are listed here, and the vigil sign up sheet still has a few free spaces left.

OP: No. I mean You. *You* aren't doing anything *here*.

Me: As I mentioned earlier, we're sharing services through the week with churches X, Y, Z etc.... The Good Friday service is a Cantata at X and it's going to be really great. All of the churches are taking part.

OP: *shrugs* In other words, nothing here.


Aaaaaaaaand scene.

That's one person who will not be at any shared services. And someone who will NOT be happy about the inevitable changes happening all across the church right now.

And yes......one more soul who actually believes that I only work on Sundays and that this Holy Week is like a week off for me.

That sound you hear is the sound of my head hitting the desk.

Self-talk, prayer and the treadmill

I've been heading back to the gym with much more regularity since the worst of winter has passed. It's not like I workout outdoors, but there are times in the middle of winter when the days are so short and so darn cold that I will come up with a multitude of reasons why it's just smarter to go home to my warm living room. Frankly, it really doesn't feel great to emerge from the gym at 5:00 pm and see that it is pitch black outside. In the hour I spent on the treadmill, day turned into night. Oh yay!

Anyway, it's much easier these days. I'm even planning to do an outdoor evening walk on Wednesdays for the next few weeks.

While I'm on the treadmill, I spend a lot of time being my own coach. My inner self-talk elevates to a laughable point. I set my program at the beginning of my workout (usually after a short warm up on the elliptical) and off I go. My music is playing, feet are moving and after the first 20 minutes or so, I need some encouragement. Insert "Coach Voice" here.

"Sue - you set the program, so you have to finish it. If you didn't think you could possibly do it with that incline, speed and run intervals, you would have set the machine to an easier program. Now quit your whining and just do it."

And I do. Thank you Running Shoe With a Wave, for the slogan that plays in my head and gets the workout done. We will talk about your out-sourcing and labour practices another time.

It is Lent.

At the beginning of Lent, I set a program of spiritual discipline for myself that involved written prayer - every. single. day. Well, guess what? About halfway through Lent, my Inner Coach kicked in. It was on a busy morning at the office when I thought "Can't I just start my day as I always do, with prayers for the day and for people I know to be in need of God's healing presence? Isn't that enough? Do I really have to write it down?"

Yes. I had set the program. I have to see it through to the end. So I picked up the pen and continued my spiritual discipline.

When that happened, I thought about how small a thing that was to grow weary of doing. It is just another kind of prayer. It's not like I don't start my morning that way anyhow. And yet, I wanted off the Lenten treadmill. I was getting tired.

Lent is a long season. This year in particular has been filled with some especially challenging moments. But I have managed to maintain the discipline I set for myself. Instead of feeling puffed up about that, I feel quite humbled. I understand why the disciples fell asleep on the job when Jesus asked them to stay awake for one lousy hour. One hour! They were exhausted.

Jesus is exhausting. Especially when we make a deep spiritual committment to stay with him all the way to the cross. But as I have long believed, if we won't or don't do this, then it is really a form of cheap grace to show up for all the joy and celebration on Easter morning.

The first glimpse of a New Day on Easter morning is so much more meaningful when one has spent the last 40 days (plus Sundays) on the treadmill called Lent. When we have truly tasted, even a bit, of the arduous journey to the utter injustice of the cross, that open tomb all but shouts to us the sheer joy of having arrived at grace itself.

Hang in there friends. We're almost there.

Mama Bear

Rough week.

There is a part of church life that I like to call the "stuff under the rock." I understand it as a necessary framework in which the Church (big C) must operate, and I celebrate the many people who are excellent at the work of the church's structures and committees.

But.....

.... and you knew there was a 'but'.....

When said system of order and structure does something that is not good for my congregation and the faithful, hardworking people in it, I will bring That. System. Down. (insert Sandra Bullock voice from Miss Congeniality)

Today I found out about an unfortunate injustice imposed upon our little church that almost immediately got my Mama Bear juices flowing. In other words - if you're smart, don't mess with my peeps.

I did not freak out.

I gathered all of the pertinent information so that all of my facts were correct, then I got busy. The particular committee that made a
rather massive mistake - one that made our church look really, really bad and stated outright that we were not in compliance with The Manual - well, that person heard from me. I remained calm but unyielding. "The problem is to be fixed, and here is how it is going to happen"

And that was just the beginning. I listed the ways in which this issue is going to be repaired. I left no room for excuses or delays. Because when you diss my people, my church family, people that I love...... you WILL hear from me.

I have long been fascinated by styles of ministry leadership. Most of the time I lead quietly from the middle, encouraging the gifts of the faithful people around me. Sometimes though, in some situations, my style becomes that of the Mama Bear - if you're going to go after them,
you will have to get past me first. And you don't want to do that.

I'm really not just posturing here and trying to sound all tough. I was as surprised as anyone to notice how calm and determined I was when I realized my primary task for the day was to defend my congregation. In a really odd way, it was almost like watching myself "do" ministry in a way rarely experienced (TBTG) up to now.

Maybe wasn't really such a bad day after all.

Truth

A colleague shared this in another forum, but I liked it so much, I thought I would post it here. It is from Rachel Held Evan's blog. Check out her site, it's awesome.

Here's what Rachel has to share today. I'm not sure how she managed to get inside my brain, but she did. She wrote it all down with much more eloquence, but everything here is so relevant....

Dear Pastors,

Tell us the truth.

Tell us the truth when you don’t know the answers to our questions, and your humility will set the example as we seek them out together.

Tell us the truth about your doubts, and we will feel safe sharing our own.

Tell us the truth when you get tired, when the yoke grows too heavy and the hill too steep to climb, and we will learn to carry one another’s burdens because we started with yours.

Tell us the truth when you are sad, and we too will stop pretending.

Tell us the truth when your studies lead you to new ideas that might stretch our faith and make us uncomfortable, and those of us who stick around will never forget that you trusted us with a challenge.

Tell us the truth when your position is controversial, and we will grow braver along with you.

Tell us the truth when you need to spend time on your marriage, and we will remember to prioritize ours.

Tell us the truth when you fail, and we will stop expecting perfection.

Tell us the truth when you think that our old ways of doing things need to change, and though we may push back, the conversation will force us to examine why we do what we do and perhaps inspire something even greater.

Tell us the truth when you fall short, and we will drop our measuring sticks.

Tell us the truth when all that’s left is hope, and we start digging for it.

Tell us the truth when the world requires radical grace, and we will generate it.

Tell us the truth even if it’s surprising, disappointing, painful, joyous, unexpected, unplanned, and unresolved, and we will learn that this is what it means to be people of faith.

Tell us the truth and you won’t be the only one set free.

Love,

The Congregation

(*photo credit to Ian Britton)

Irony at its best

While the General Council of the United Church was busy "re-inventing" the way the church operates by cutting social justice and youth and young adults ministries (and the jobs that went with them) from their administrative responisibilities, our humble little Presbytery was exploring real issues and doing real ministry. Go figure. Am I a bit disillusioned by the actions of the General Council? You bet. I'm doing everything I can do to try and understand these latest developments, but it's a tough project.

Do I still have faith in our church? You bet!

Why?

Because yesterday morning, in the midst of denominational chaos, the Youth conducted our worship before we all hit the road and headed home.

Our theme for the weekend was Racial Justice and human diversity. The youth closed our worhsip with this song from the Black Eyed Peas. It was awesome. Roughly 25 young people broke through the growing confusion and pain I was feeling about our national church's priorities. With their help, I saw so clearly that whatever happens in the costly high-rise offices in Toronto, a little Presbytery that most people in those offices would have trouble finding, was rocking out faith as it is meant to be. Real...Open... Meaningful, and filled with a deep yearning to make our world a better place.

In other words, the very Youth whose program and leadership has been gutted, led our Presbytery in the best worship I've experienced in a very long time.

Ironic, yes?

We are, as a church, as human critters, wherever we are and whatever we do, One Tribe.

One tri, one tri
One tribe, one time, one planet, one race
It's all one blood, don't care about your face
The color of your eye or the tone of your skin
Don't care where you are, don't care where you been

'Cause where we gonna go is where we wanna be
The place where the little language is unity
And the continent is called Pangaea
And the main ideas are connected like a sphere

No propaganda, they tried to upper hand us
'Cause man, I'm loving this peace
Man, man, I'm loving this peace
Man, man, I'm loving this peace

I don't need no leader that's gonna force feed
A concept that make me think I need to
Fear my brother and fear my sister
And shoot my neighbor or my big missile

If I had an enemy to, if I had an enemy to
If I had an enemy then my enemy is gonna try
To come and kill me 'cause I'm his enemy

There's one tribe y'all, one tribe y'all
One tribe y'all, we are one people

Let's cast amnesia, forget about all that evil
Forget about all that evil, that evil that they feed ya
Let's cast amnesia, forget about all that evil
That evil that they feed ya, remember that we're one people

We are one people
One, one, one people
One, one, one people
One, one, one people

One tribe, one tribe, one tribe, one time, one planet, one race
Race, one love, one people, one and
Too many things that's causing one to
To forget about the main cause

Connecting, uniting
But the evil is seen and alive in us
So our weapons are colliding
And our peace is sinking like Poseidon

But, we know that the one, one
The evil one is threatened by the sum, sum
So he'll come and try and separate the sum
But he dumb, he didn't know we had a way to overcome

Rejuvenated by the beating of the drum
Come together by the cycle of the hum
Freedom when all become one, one forever

One tribe y'all, one tribe y'all
One tribe y'all, we are one people

Let's cast amnesia, forget about all that evil, evil
Forget about all that evil, evil that evil that they feed ya
Let's cast amnesia, forget about all that evil, evil
That evil, that they feed ya, feed ya, remember that we're one people

We are one people
One, one, one people
One, one, one people
One, one, one people

One love, one blood, one people
One heart, one beat, we equal
Connected like the Internet
United that's how we do

Let's break walls so we see through
Let love and peace lead you
We could overcome the complication
'Cause we need to

Help each other, make these changes
Brother, sister, rearrange this
The way I'm thinking
That we can change this bad condition

Wait, use you mind and not your greed
Let's connect and then proceed
This is something I believe
We are one, we're all just people

One tribe y'all, one tribe y'all
One tribe y'all, we are one people

Let's cast amnesia, forget about all that evil
Forget about all that evil, that evil that they feed ya
Let's cast amnesia, let's cast amnesia
Forget about all that evil, that evil that they feed ya

One tribe y'all, we, we, we, we're one tribe y'all
One, one, one people
One, one, one people
One, one, one people

One, one, one people
One, one, one people
One, one, one people
Let's, let's cast amnesia

Lord, help me out
Trying to figure out what it's all about
'Cause we're one in the same
Same joy, same pain

And I hope that You're there when I need Ya
'Cause maybe we need amnesia
And I don't wanna sound like a preacher
But we need to be one

One world, one love, one passion
One tribe, one understanding
'Cause you and me can become one

Bemused, Bewitched and Bemildred....*

Just another weekend at Presbytery, I suppose. Due to a General Council mandate for paid-accountable ministry personnel, we all participated in a three-part workshop on racial injustice. It was skilfully facilitated and never gave me that “when-is-this-over?” feeling. Not even once. Coming from me, that is high praise. Gord will attest to that. :)

Someone told me over the weekend that the United Nations has declared this the year of the child, or youth, I’m not sure which. I’ll look it up later.

Our Presbytery is currently in a needs assessment process for a new Youth Minister for the whole Presbytery. This person would provide oversight and guidance for all of the youth work done in the Presbytery. In other words, this person will be a leader of leaders.

Given all of that, here’s the bite that stung a bit even on a great weekend like this one.....

This past week, our national office, or General Council, made the difficult choice to cut 16 more positions from that office of our church. The person in charge of planning and coordinating Youth and Young Adult ministries has no job today. Nor do 15 others who worked with him.

I’m supposed to be all restrained and sensible about this. I’m supposed to understand that last year’s firing (stop calling it a lay-off people, these folks were fired) of 20 staff in the Social Justice wing of the General Council offices is really nothing more than a “new and creative” way of operating. What nonsense.

It’s about money.

Only money.

The United Church of Canada, for the uninitiated, was born in June 1925 out of three struggling denominations – the Methodist, Congregationalist and Presbyterian churches in Canada were hurting, financially and in other ways, especially in the west. So the three (minus about 1/3 of the Presbyterians) came together. Over the early years and well into the 70s, our very identity was solidly wrapped up in our Social Justice ministry.

In 1988, we became the first Christian denomination in the world to take on the issue of sexual orientation and ministry in the church. We have been a bold and vocal force wherever people have been oppressed and we could provide a semblance of hope.

So, who are we now?

Yes, I understand that it is a new model of operating. Rather than having unique “silos” or departments for each area of ministry, the intent os to “empower” (hello church-speak) congregations and church lay leaders to take on the roles that have been taken away from the upper echelons of the United Church. I get that. But at least on some level, it feels as if a bit of the floor has opened up and swallowed some of our most gifted and qualified leaders in the church – not for the sake of empowerment, but for the sake of money. If someone can convince me otherwise, go ahead and try – but honestly, it’s pretty hard to see this as anything but a financial move.

This week, the United Church, by asking 16 staff to pack up their offices and walk to their cars one last time, saved 9 million dollars. I have to ask myself this question: if the General Council had been serious about moving the headquarters of our national church OUT of the most costly city in the country to live and work – would those 36 people who have been fired in the past two years still have a desk and a job? Would they still sit in their chairs and see a picture of their children or their pets on the wallpaper screen of their computer? And most importantly, would they still share their many gifts for ministry in a church that needs every person’s gift every single day?

What if they had been serious about that proposal? What if they had taken the radical move to, say, Winnipeg, where real estate costs are about 1/4 of the cost of what they are in Toronto? For the record, 7 other denominations have their national headquarters in Winnipeg, so this wasn't some crazy pipe dream - it was a real and fiscally responsible proposal. I guess we can only wonder about whether in might have worked.

In the meantime, it’s been a weekend of questioning, worship, singing, self-awareness, confusion, grief, joy, and way too much good food. The best part of the weekend was an exercise during the racial justice theme presentation called “concentric circles.” We were able to listen to one another’s stories for a solid hour. The inner circle of chairs stayed put, and every ten minutes or so, the people in the outer circle moved two chairs over and another question would be put to the group. We spoke to one another, got to know one another, and we listened with the heart of God that leaps within each one of us. The astonishing grace that is humanity in relationship with one another and with our Creator was as present in the room as the muffins and cookies.

The beauty outshone the sadness, no question. God is good. My prayer tonight is for those whose lives have been turned upside down this past week. My prayer is for all of us. The hope that sustains me, as always, is that in life, in death, and in life beyond death, God is with us.

Thanks be to God.

*My mom used to say something like this when I was young. I'm probably not quoting her exactly right, but it's close enough.

Presbytery - a marathon in Marathon

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Our four-day meeting is taking place in Marathon - a town along the Lake - and yes, it feels like a marathon. Yesterday we got to church at 8:15 and the day's business ended just after 9:00 pm. Breaks in there for food, stretching etch. but oy, that was a doozy.

Now, back to it for plenary and more of the theme presentation on Racial Justice.

See ya later. First, coffee. Intravenously please. ;)

Going Steady?

I'll be away for a few days. I'm off to see a friend South of Here!!! Squeeeeeeee! SO excited. It's only for a few days, but I've really been looking forward to it. It's officially "study leave", so I'm taking a few books with me, but really it's "Catch Your Breath Before Advent" week. I take the same week off every year for the same purpose. It tends to work for me.

All Saints celebration was really good this morning. We worshiped in our sanctuary with the congregation with whom we have been talking about the "a" word (amalgamation) for, let's see, three years or so. In jest, some of the steering committee has used the metaphor of our two churches "dating" to see if the relationship will work out.

Today it felt like we notched it up a bit. Today I noticed that people from each congregation knew the names of folks from the other church. We shared communion and honoured the saints we have lost over the past year. Our choirs sang together and it was all good. My colleague in ministry and I get along really well and we work well together in liturgy.

I can't quite articulate it, but today felt as if we moved from safe dating to going steady....it felt as if the mood in the sanctuary was one of being home regardless of location. Admittedly, I may have been the only one feeling that way, but I hope not. I think our chemistry is good, we're a good match theologically, and the best part - the church was full. We needed extra help for Sunday School because of the number of children and almost everyone stayed for coffee time. Sweet!

I don't know what comes next. That isn't for me to decide. You know the old saying "Ministers come and go, but the church goes on" - this isn't a situation that either myself or my colleague can dictate. We can only be there as pastors for those who need a hand walking through changes, and offer whatever we happen to know about process (which reminds me, I must blow the dust off my Manual). Thankfully, my colleague is very well-versed in the whole process thing. Whew!

We're getting there, slowly but surely, to the point where we feel like one church family. It feels really good. It feels Spirit-driven and it feels like the right thing to do.

The tricky part? Making it happen despite the massive elephant in the room: The Buildings.

God help us all.

The Grand Canyon and Sedona

After the closing worship (which was wonderful) at the Big Event in Scottsdale, seven of us headed off in two vehicles to see the Grand Canyon. It's not much of a drive really, especially in comparison to getting anywhere from where I live. So, off we went.

One vehicle (not mine) made a side trip to Winslow, Arizona. Of course, you know WHY they went to Winslow, Arizona right?



Awesome. To my fellow travelers, let's see some pics from the corner, 'kay?

Our car made another stop. We went to see the Watchtower. Here are some pictures:

Looking up at the Watchtower...


One of many, many views of the Canyon from the tower:


Another view. I walked up the spiral stairway up to the very top. The view was spectacular. There was even a bit of water in the Colorado River below us. This is one of the lower observation areas...


We arrived at the GC in time for a glimpse of the sunset before a lovely dinner. Our accommodations were lovely and literally steps from the South Rim of the Canyon. Thanks Mompriest for making the arrangements. This is what we saw on our way to dinner...



And then *drum roll* the next morning at 5:30 am - yes - that's early, some of us got up to watch the sunrise. It was amazing. Even at that unsavory hour.





That morning we walked along the South Rim (around 1 mile, I think) and took plenty of pics, each one more beautiful than the next. The colours were astounding.



Then it was on to Sedona for a delightful lunch and more pictures. Most of mine have anonymous bloggers in them, but here is one that just shows the town and the gorgeous mountains surrounding it:



Back to Phoenix, where I spent a night at a hotel near the airport. It was very swanky by my standards. I enjoyed a quiet evening and went to bed early after a very full, but very fulfilling weekend.



Funny, but I remember thinking that the church was only paying for the educational event itself, but somehow the side trip after it all was equally educational. Just seeing the sheer beauty of God's creation reinforced the need for all of us to protect and honour Mother Earth. I suppose there are lessons to be learned everywhere we go, from everyone we meet, and from every sight we see.

BE 2.0 Re-Entry

No, I was not on an Apollo mission, but the word "re-entry" has been on my mind all day. I returned home late (very late) last evening and have had considerable difficulty trying to convince my body that the clock on the wall is actually correct. This could be another long night. It is SO bizarre to feel tired and yet so unable to sleep. Clearly I don't get out much...

Anywho, I was away for a week in Scottsdale AZ hearing about the "Daughters of Miriam" - women prophets of the Hebrew Scriptures. Our excellent key note speaker was the Rev. Dr. Wilda Gafney, the book's author and an Episcopal priest and Associate Professor of Hebrew and Old Testament at The Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia.

She rocked. She had a great sense of humour and now stands as the only woman I know with feet smaller than my own.

I spent the first night in Arizona with dear friends in Mesa - THANK YOU!!!!! (you know who you are :)) We had a lovely lunch, shopped a bit and enjoyed a quiet evening - exactly what I needed after a busy Lenten/Easter season. Be warned however - your place is so great that I may just show up on your doorstep next winter and I'll be like a bad rash you can't get rid of. Just sayin'....

******************

Thanks also to the organizers of BE 2.0 - I know it is a huge task and was mostly done via email. Thank you to my RevGal buddies, y'all are a great bunch to hang out with and learn from, despite my lack of knitting prowess. (Did you notice how well I used "y'all"? And I only caught myself saying "eh" a few times, so it was a banner year for me. I was dropping "eh"s all over the place at the past two Festival of Homies.)

A special thanks to those of you who hung around the campfire on the last evening despite reports of snakes and spiders. As we sang, talked and laughed, I felt the Spirit dancing her way through the night and all the way up to the stars. And truthfully, I really never did locate the Little Dipper. Astronomy - not so much my thing. Still - it was a beautiful night and all of the stars were incredible, especially those of the RevGal variety!



*************************

But I digress...

Here are a few shots of the retreat center where we stayed:





As the only Canadian in the group, I felt it was something of a sovereign duty to be the ONLY one to go for a swim in the lovely pool. It was refreshing, but hardly cold.



One afternoon, we had a bit of free time and headed into Old Scottsdale.



I learned about Geocaching from a few experts in our group. Fascinating and quite possibly addictive. I'm thinking that a BE in Canada could involve some very interesting International Geocaching...



Naturally, one must stop for lunch and refreshments. We ate at a place where I had my first experience of ACTUAL guacamole, made right at the table. Deeeeelish.



**************************

Yes, we actually did our study time too. At times, my brain was fighting against the tide of information coming our way. It was all good and interesting material, but my poor wee brain at times felt the overload of the season. I know that I did the best I could do and brought home much to share with our congregation. I know that we all did. This group of old friends and new friends are now and evermore shall be the official membership of BE 2.0.

And the people said in one voice: Amen!



(Tomorrow I'll post the pics from the Grand Canyon and Sedona - they are incredibly beautiful)

Happy Easter Everyone!

To clergy and busy church folk everywhere, the tomb is empty, the worship has been celebrated, and it's time for a little of this:



I have managed over the weekend to catch my first head cold in so many years that I can't even remember the last one *sigh*. But, no worries, it will be gone by the time I fly out of here on Wednesday for BE 2.0!!!



In the meantime, to all who have worked so hard and made it through another Lenten season to join the shouts of Alleluia! this morning: Well done, good and faithful servants. Now, hopefully, you can catch your breath and take it easy, at least for awhile...

Ouzo Update

* blood work - Normal.

* special thyroid tests - Normal.

* behaviour - still problematic, but somewhat improved.

* email from the vet today explained that an entire team of feline psychology experts will be examining his report this weekend. Pillar wondered if Dr. Phil is on the team. Whoever makes up this feline pscyh team - I hope they figure out what's wrong with our little man. Soon.

* we found a video camera to see what's going on in his nighttime hours. Should be interesting...

* new development. The vet put him on new food - as she described it, it is more protein, less pasta. News flash - it gives him, um, gas. Delightful.

* Is it Easter yet? Can I go to the desert now? Where it's warm? That would be nice. Only another 12 days.....but who's counting, right? :)

Vanity, Thy Name is Sue

Ok, because the hubster was zero help here, I'm going to ask for the wisdom of the blogosphere.

I'm heading to Arizona the week after Easter for Big Event 2.0 in Scottsdale. I've started getting things together.

New passport - check.
Flip-flops - check.
Warm-weather clothing - working on it.
New cossie (my Scottish friend tells me this is what one calls a swimming suit, or bathing costume if you will) - check.
Luggage, complete with lovely carry-on bag in perfect green colour (must post picture) - check.
Book on study topic read - check.
Book understood - working on it.

Legs - as white, pasty and Canadian as can be. People, it's been a LONG winter!! The legs, they are Blindingly white. Frighteningly white. Children will cower behind their mother's legs white. - check.

Question: Tanning booth? Lotion? Take my Chances?

All suggestions are welcome.

Bemused, Befuddled and Bemildred....

I have no idea where that title came from except the back (way back where the cob-webs are starting to collect rapidly) of my memory.


more animals

The reason for my confusion is not algebra, thanks be to God.

It's (and I'm hesitant to even say this) the topic for BE 2.0 - I'm slowly (very, very slowly) working my way through Wilda's book "Daughters of Miriam" and I'm feeling really, really insecure about the whole thing. It is so far over my head in the scholarly sense that I should have received one of those emergency masks that they hand out in airplanes in case of loss of air pressure during the flight. This stuff is that far over my wee brain. I feel like a fool. I'm just not getting it. I'm so lost in the classic Hebrew that I'm missing the point of the whole book. I'm going on the event, but I'm starting to worry that I'm just not smart enough to be there.

Back story: I grew up as the only child of four who did NOT skip a grade in school, so my feeling like the village idiot is nothing new, despite the massive framed degrees on my wall. This book is just dredging up a whole lot of old insecurities and I find myself feeling sympathetic to the disciples in Mark, who for all their effort just could not understand what Jesus was talking about - all this stuff about dying and rising in three days. Perhaps that is the lesson for me here - now I finally understand how confused they were.



I suppose if all else fails, there's always the pool.

By the way, today is International Women's Day. I went to a V-Day performance locally that was simply excellent in every way. Our son coordinated it and did a wonderful job. It was a good and informative evening. I love being a proud mom. I feel so fortunate today in so many ways that this whole post sounds really whiny now, but I'm going to leave it up anyway.

Any other BE 2.0 folks finding the same experience with the book, or is it just me? It's okay to be honest, I won't be hurt if you tell me it was a breeze and a quick read. I'm just curious more than anything.

Happy Chinese New Year and other Monday stuff

* To all who celebrate Chinese New Year - today begins the Year of the Ox. Coincidentally, Barack Obama was born in the year of Ox. My yoga instructor told us today that this bodes well for his administration.

* Handed in my passport application, all signed sealed and delivered. Should arrive within a few weeks. Thanks R for your guarantor duties. Arizona, here I come...

* I was re-injected in one of my trigger points today. It was a good appointment with someone who does the procedure locally. Tonight I feel fine. It was more preventative than anything else at this point, but it can't hurt and it might help, so why not?

* Speaking of Arizona, BE 2.0 cannot arrive soon enough. I have my tickets booked, Board approval, and I'm busy reading the book. At certain points so far, I have felt a bit concerned that it's more scholarly than I am. It's been ten years since I graduated, and some of the language is a bit heavy for me, but I'm catching on as I get into the book. Like riding a bike, right?



* I'm tie-tie. Time for bed.

Doin' a Happy Dance

Today I mailed my deposit to the RGBP Treasurer for Big Event 2.0!!!!

I smiled all the way to the car.

'Zona, here I come!!! Note to self: What kinds of shoes does one take to Arizona in April??? Must ask Cheesehead.

I also had physio with Amazing Trigger Point Phsyio who was so kind, attentive and affirming when I told her about my Metric Butt Load of Crap week that happened last week.

She was SO impressed that even through the sh*t-storm that was last week, my original trigger points didn't do their old dance. The only headache I had was the kind you get from crying for hours at a time.

She did some work on my neck and my masseter muscles again, but mostly just to loosen everything up, not to work out any particular TPs.

Progress - good.

Perspective - even better.

Ryman

This is another picture from Nashville. This is a shot of the Ryman Auditorium which is a very interesting building architecturally and historically. Naturally, I bought the t-shirt too.

Q&A

Sue: So Sue, what did you do today?

Sue: Thanks for asking, Sue, er, me, er... Today I did....well, let me think a moment...I made some coffee, caught up with Pillar, watched some of the races on tv, napped for three hours with the cats, read some blogs.

Sue: How did the funeral go yesterday?

Sue: It was a good tribute to a wonderful woman. The remembrances by family members were among the best I've heard. And in the past nine years, I have done a LOT of funerals. I am glad the family was so gracious about holding the service after I returned home. They could have easily asked someone else. It was a privilege to be on such holy ground.

Sue: Did you rest up once the funeral was over?

Sue: Well, sort of. The family asked me to join them for dinner at a local restaurant. It was so lovely. There were about sixty people there, and many shared stories about their loved one whose life we had celebrated earlier in the day. Laughter and tears go well with a good meal and good company.

Sue: How were the headaches when you were away?

Sue: I had a feeling you were going to ask me that. Bad. Same as any other time. My best hours are the morning and into the early afternoon - after that point it's all downhill. My therapist has pointed out my extreme skill at "pushing back" the pain if I feel that anything else has a higher ranking priority (such as family needs, pastoral needs, laundry...pretty much whatever needs my attention).

Each day in Nashville, I "pushed back" the pain until I could get back to my hotel room and ice up. My room was close to the ice machine and I had a good supply of ziploc bags. I took my meds and literally fell asleep each night with ice bags surrounding my head.

When I push back the pain, it doesn't go away, I simply refuse to let it slow me down. I refuse to indulge its demands for my attention. When my head is screaming at me to go and lie down with lots of ice and its still the middle of the day and I have an opportunity to be with some great people and hear some amazing speakers - my response to my head is one of stubborn resolve. I have also developed an unusual tolerance for a great deal of pain. I actually thought at one point this week, "Oh well, it's only around 7 (out of 10), so I'm good for a few more hours." A pain level of 7 for me means that I'm really hurting. What made it okay that day was that I wasn't at 8 yet, where the nausea kicks in.

Of course, that only works for so long. Thursday was pretty slow for me. I was so glad to hang out at a lovely outdoor cafe patio with St. C and Cheese for awhile - it helped me to recharge. I also had a lovely nap before supper.

Sue: Are you glad you went to Nashville?

Sue: Are you kidding???? It was AWESOME!!! I am so glad I was there. I'm only just beginning to process the sermons and lectures we heard. One of the things that delighted me was that the speakers consistently echoed some of the same themes we have been exploring in the United Church's "Emerging Spirit" project. Some of the speakers have been around preaching circles for many, many years, but they are exceedingly up to date in terms of today's homiletic challenges and opportunities.

I feel so blessed to have been at the Festival to soak up some really fine lectures and worship.

Sue: So, would Jesus use a Mac?

Sue: Ok, there was that one worship that was a bit off-putting, but it was the exception. There was a table lamp on the communion table and two laptop computers complete with two dudes with shades and headphones. Could they not have set up the computers on a separate table? I mean, really. I think they were attempting "hip" but it came across as disrespectful.

Sue: You should get some sleep honey.

Sue: Yes, I know. I am tired down to my last strand of DNA. Many, many thanks to LCotC for this opportunity, and for finding pulpit supply for this morning so I could sleep in. I'll try to rest up more tomorrow also because on Thursday I leave for the Annual Meeting of Conference.

Sue: Just one more question: "Doesn't Anyone Care?"

Sue: Only a few people will understand that question, but that's okay. I'll leave it in because the question matters - "Doesn't Anyone Care?!"

RGBP Meet Up in Nashville...

And these are some very respectable empties, complete with collars and crosses...

Good Times

Here are a few pics of the Nashville Festival of Homies trip. More tomorrow, but these are a few good ones...

These were taken on Music Row. I especially like the picture of Cheesehead in the white dress. :)