Dude, That's my Jesus...

Okay, okay, I know that a lot of my clergy colleagues, among others, find the tune "Mary Did You Know?" to be really annoying, sappy sweet, and just generally agregious. My deepest apologies.

Me? I'm not so negatively affected by it. But that is not why I've posted it. It's the video. Watch to the very end until there is a shot of "Jesus" (a very handsome version, I might add) on a beach. He waves his hand toward the camera as an invitation. When I watched it for the first time, I just froze. I had seen it before, but not on YouTube.

Here's the story. (It's from an ancient post here a few years ago....if it's old news to you, please feel free to move on) I did an interview and the following was my response to question #1.

1. How did you know that the ministry was right for you?

The fact that I am an ordained minister still surprises me at times. I didn’t come from a church-going family, and in fact did not attend any church service until the age of sixteen. So I wasn’t one of those children who grew up thinking “I want to be a minister when I grow up.”

Pillar’s Dad, also a UCCan minister, is largely responsible for my spiritual nurture and teaching up to the age of 24 or so when he accepted a call in another city. Those eight years made all the difference in the world. He showed me what the word “pastor” means. He is gentle and caring and good – he is the kind of minister I hope I can be one day. I’ve had other mentors, but he stands out as the one with the most influence.

Just before my Mom became ill in 1991 (the same year that Pillar was diagnosed with MS), I had been planning to take a very important step. I wanted to try my hand at a university course. This was huge for me. I had taken a two year diploma course in Laboratory Technology in 1978 and since 1980 had been working in the blood bank department at one of our local hospitals. It was a good job, I was working with great people, and I was a hard worker with excellent annual reviews.

I had never been to university. Something was nudging me to get back to school. In hindsight, that “something” was the Holy Spirit with her foot in the middle of my back, pushing me to get this ministry underway.

I began with Intro Philosophy in the fall of 1992, sure that I would fail and get back to my normal life almost immediately. I had always been an average student and really only excelled in English Literature. Science and Math, not so much. How then, did I end up in a clinical laboratory? God knows.

Well, I took the course and I didn't fail. I got an A and discovered that what I lacked in linear, mathematical thinking, I made up for in critical thinking and creativity.

As I was working on my BA, I started wondering what I would do next. I had this feeling that as much as I liked my job and appreciated the security of my pension and benefits, there was something else I was supposed to be doing with my life. I looked into Social Work programs, Education and Psychology, but I always came back to the same place. Ministry.

Of course, like so many others who begin to hear a call to ministry, I resisted. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “You’re kidding, right?”
God: “No, not at all.”
Me: “But you know me. You know how shy I am. Can’t you find me something I can do in a quiet room by myself?”
God: “Sorry kid. You’ve got gifts to share and it’s time.”
Me: “But it’s going to be so difficult. What about my family? Where will we find the money and the strength to do all this?”
God: “Don’t worry. Just take the first step, then another, and another.”

So I did. I told Pillar, with my voice shaking, “I think maybe I’m being called to ministry.” He said, “Of course you are. I had a conversation with my Mother two years ago and we both knew you were headed in that direction. We’re all with you, Sue.”

So we worked it out. And we took that first step together – me, Pillar, our wonderful boys, and my in-laws who made it all possible in so many ways.

I still haven’t answered the question.

How did I know ministry was right for me? A dream.

I had a dream that I was in this huge desert with sand dunes spread out as far as the eye could see. I was alone and then I saw a crowd of people approaching from my right side. They were being led by a man wearing a long tunic. As they got closer to me I could see that this group of people was very diverse and very happy. They were laughing and singing and celebrating something and I wanted desperately to join them. Then they passed directly in front of me and I still couldn’t work up the courage to step into the group and join them. I wasn’t sure if I would be welcome.

Soon the crowd was almost past me and I was anxious that they would leave me behind. Then the man at the front of the crowd, whom I identified as Jesus, stepped out from his place and looked back at me. He laughed a bit and shook his head as if to say “You’re welcome here! How could you not know that?!” Then he waved his hand in the direction of the crowd, indicating that I should step in and join the celebration. So I did, and I felt the most profound sense of peace I have ever experienced in a dream.

Then I woke up with tears flowing down my face.

That dream, plus the support and care of more people than I can possibly name, and the sense of God’s presence with me in my ministry, have affirmed time and time again that ministry is indeed the right vocation for me.

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Ok folks, no kidding - the video Jesus looks EXACTLY like my dream Jesus. It kind of freaked me out a little, like seeing an old friend after several years. This must sound very odd to all of you, because it's even sounding odd to me, so I'll just go back to my odd little world now.

As you were...