Unforgettable

Sometimes at night when I can’t get to sleep (which is sadly often these days) I will put on my iPod “Surely” and listen to some relaxing music or my deep muscle relaxation guide. Last night I listened to my DMR and promptly fell asleep, which is good! That’s kind of the idea, right?

Well, Surely kept on playing quietly into my dreams until I woke up about a half hour later to the crooning velvet sound of Johnny Mathis singing “Chances Are” (stop laughing!) In my sleepy haze I pictured Pillar and I dancing. I smiled and listened some more. Soon enough, I was listening to “Unforgettable” – the song we danced to at our wedding.

We turned and turned on the dance floor, much more elegantly than we ever did in real life. Pillar was a wonderful dancer – it was his clumsy partner that made his task of leading a significant challenge. Even so, we always enjoyed dancing. We used to joke about how good Pillar was at “defensive dancing” – you know the kind, where you have to spin in the other direction to avoid a full-on collision with another couple.

We don’t dance anymore. I don’t talk much on this blog about Pillar and his trifecta of chronic conditions. MS, diabetes and Trigeminal Neuralgia have all had their place in our lives, not to mention the depression, anxiety and headaches that I bring to the table. These are things beyond our control, so we tend to give them the room they need in our lives and carry on. But every now and then, I think, “MS really sucks” ya know?

I miss the feeling of Pillar’s hand resting on the small of my back as we effortlessly hit the dance floor back in the day. I wish I had appreciated it more at the time. I wish I had known that this was a special gift we had for only that brief stretch of time. I wish I had stopped to impress the memory of it all onto my mind’s hard drive, never to be lost or forgotten. On the other hand, perhaps by grace, I seem to have done exactly that, which explains my night time dance memories.
We give MS and all the other Chronic visitors only the time and energy they absolutely must have. We have worked very hard to ensure that they are not the central focus of our living. Life here in Oz is surprisingly normal. Folks tend to think life must be a trial when you have to manoeuvre through a maze of chronic conditions. But it really isn’t, most of the time. There are times when chronic becomes more acute and we respond accordingly, but for the most part, life in our home is happy, peaceful and fun. We are blessed.

But we don’t dance.

Or, perhaps we do.

The music of life plays on and we dance with our eyes and the gift of memories dating back to late February 1977 when we had our first official date. Our first date was a high-school basketball game. Our second date – a dance.

Last night when “Unforgettable” (the original Nat King Cole version) finished playing, I put Surely the iPod back in the night stand and went back to sleep. But before I did, I looked at the beautiful man breathing softly beside me. I wanted to thank him for the dance we had just shared, but I didn’t want to wake him. So I thanked God instead, for this life I have, because with all its complications and oddities - it is indeed unforgettable.

* I could only find the updated version on the internets, but you get the idea. Do me a favour. Play this video and go find your favourite dance partner. Spin around your living room, or your kitchen, or wherever you happen to be. Or if you happen to be alone – dance anyway!