I'm typically not much for New Year's Resolutions, but these really struck a chord with me today. Jan posted them over at her blog - "Yearning for God". They are based on a series of spiritual disciplines found at the Spirituality and Practice web site. The list itself is authored by MaryAnn and Frederic Brussat.
1. I will live in the present moment. I will not obsess about the past or worry about the future.
2. I will cultivate the art of making connections. I will pay attention to how my life is intimately related to all life on the planet.
3. I will be thankful for all the blessings in my life. I will spell out my days with a grammar of gratitude.
4. I will practice hospitality in a world where too often strangers are feared, enemies are hated, and the "other" is shunned. I will welcome guests and alien ideas with graciousness.
5. I will seek liberty and justice for all. (Side note: do I need Superman pyjamas for this one?) I will work for a free and fair world.
6. I will add to the planet's fund of good will by practicing little acts of kindness, brief words of encouragement, and manifold expressions of courtesy.
7. I will cultivate the skill of deep listening. I will remember that all things in the world want to be heard, as do the many voices inside me.
8. I will practice reverence for life by seeing the sacred in, with, and under all things of the world.
9. I will give up trying to hide, deny, or escape from my imperfections. I will listen to what my shadow side has to say to me.
10. I will be willing to learn from the spiritual teachers all around me, however unlikely or unlike me they may be.
Happy New Year everyone!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
The Real Thing
When you cruise the multitude of channels on the ole telly over an evening, you come across a lot of stuff. Most of it is not worth noticing. Tonight I came across something refreshing and beautiful. The program was an interview with Jon Huntsman, a gentleman who is nothing short of inspirational.
Yes, he made his huge fortune in the oil business, but with this man that is SO not the point. When his company was in serious financial trouble a few years back, he convinced the big banks to loan him some serious cash so that he could follow through on his financial commitments to charitable organizations. He took out loans to maintain his pledges to charity! He put up his home and what remained of his business to do this. Remarkable.
His business did not go bankrupt. He will give over 2 billion dollars to support cancer research in the next month alone. A month. Philanthropy at its best. Who says there's nothing good on tv?
Yes, he made his huge fortune in the oil business, but with this man that is SO not the point. When his company was in serious financial trouble a few years back, he convinced the big banks to loan him some serious cash so that he could follow through on his financial commitments to charitable organizations. He took out loans to maintain his pledges to charity! He put up his home and what remained of his business to do this. Remarkable.
His business did not go bankrupt. He will give over 2 billion dollars to support cancer research in the next month alone. A month. Philanthropy at its best. Who says there's nothing good on tv?
Well, that's that...
One more day and 2007 will be history. It has, for the most part, been a good year. I had certainly hoped that it would be the year in which I would be headache-free, but that did not happen.
I'm trying to be as balanced as I can be about the ups and downs of the year. I work every day to stay positive in the face of daily pain. Here's what I've learned over the past year:
1. My headaches are not caused by stress, either work-related or by other random sources of stress. While stress is not the cause, it is clear that stress can exacerbate existing pain. I do not, and will not, accept the notion that if I would just "learn to relax" I would have no pain. Would anyone say that to someone with another chronic condition, such as diabetes or arthritis? Why are headaches so consistently considered to be the sufferers own fault?
2. Further to that point, I have done as much as anyone could have possibly done to "relax" over the past year. I have had a massage at least once a month, I do progressive muscle relaxation every night, I practice visualization through the worst intensity of pain and I try to get regular exercise (mostly walking, as often as I can). I also took two months off in the summer and had no relief from the headaches.
3. If I had not been doing all of the above, and more, the pain would have been unimaginable. My commitment to do everything possible to alleviate the pain has worked. It has not removed my pain entirely, but it has made living with pain and keeping my ministry possible.
4. It is possible to have fun and meet amazing people even when your head hurts. Nashville proved that to me. It was a blast.
5. If my consult with the headache clinic does not point to any particular cause or cure, I am prepared to deal with the "C" word and live with this as a possibly permanent chronic illness. Until then, I will keep looking for ways to make my head stop hurting.
6. I have learned how to be my own advocate.
7. A very very good unbloggable thing happened in 2007. Once it becomes bloggable, I'll be sure to let you know. Until then, I continue to marvel at how blessed I am. Really.
8. Pillar and I are so proud of our sons. I've said that before, but it is more true every day. These fine young men are people I would be proud to know even if they weren't my sons. By grace, we raised us some good people.
9. All the people who say the internets are bad and cannot be used for good - well, they've never been a part of the RevGalBlogPals.
10. My cats have taught me everything I need to know about napping.
I'm trying to be as balanced as I can be about the ups and downs of the year. I work every day to stay positive in the face of daily pain. Here's what I've learned over the past year:
1. My headaches are not caused by stress, either work-related or by other random sources of stress. While stress is not the cause, it is clear that stress can exacerbate existing pain. I do not, and will not, accept the notion that if I would just "learn to relax" I would have no pain. Would anyone say that to someone with another chronic condition, such as diabetes or arthritis? Why are headaches so consistently considered to be the sufferers own fault?
2. Further to that point, I have done as much as anyone could have possibly done to "relax" over the past year. I have had a massage at least once a month, I do progressive muscle relaxation every night, I practice visualization through the worst intensity of pain and I try to get regular exercise (mostly walking, as often as I can). I also took two months off in the summer and had no relief from the headaches.
3. If I had not been doing all of the above, and more, the pain would have been unimaginable. My commitment to do everything possible to alleviate the pain has worked. It has not removed my pain entirely, but it has made living with pain and keeping my ministry possible.
4. It is possible to have fun and meet amazing people even when your head hurts. Nashville proved that to me. It was a blast.
5. If my consult with the headache clinic does not point to any particular cause or cure, I am prepared to deal with the "C" word and live with this as a possibly permanent chronic illness. Until then, I will keep looking for ways to make my head stop hurting.
6. I have learned how to be my own advocate.
7. A very very good unbloggable thing happened in 2007. Once it becomes bloggable, I'll be sure to let you know. Until then, I continue to marvel at how blessed I am. Really.
8. Pillar and I are so proud of our sons. I've said that before, but it is more true every day. These fine young men are people I would be proud to know even if they weren't my sons. By grace, we raised us some good people.
9. All the people who say the internets are bad and cannot be used for good - well, they've never been a part of the RevGalBlogPals.
10. My cats have taught me everything I need to know about napping.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Bed
I meant to include this picture in the "Cats Behaving Badly" post. Christmas morning for Ouzo included tackling our son's jacket. Good times...
In the past two hours, my head pain has gone from 6 to 8. I'm off to bed with ice and gravol. I'll post the prayer in the morning.
In the past two hours, my head pain has gone from 6 to 8. I'm off to bed with ice and gravol. I'll post the prayer in the morning.
Cats Behaving Badly: Christmas Edition
Our cats had so much fun this Christmas!! Here are a few photos of the festivities...
Sunday Prayer
God of Light and Life, we come before you in humility and thankfulness, aware that we are so deeply blessed. May your light and love shine in and through us as we prepare to enter a new year.
We pray for all those whom we have named aloud in this place today, and those whose needs are tucked away in the recesses of the human spirit. God, we are skilled at ignoring our own needs, but sometimes those are the ones most in demand of our time and attention.
Help us as we balance the needs of a hurting world with the ache that hides in the corners of our own souls. Both need your Light. Both are worthy of your blessing. Your grace is more than enough to reach any hurt, any wound, any pain. We give you thanks and praise, O God.
God, we pray that this Christmas will be a time of searching and finding…
…that the baby in the manger will allow us to move from reason to wonder, from intellect to spirit, from doctrine to Mystery – in all its liberating power.
As we observe the child Jesus, remind us God that he has been born again for more than adoration. He comes also to confront and challenge.
May the child in the manger guide us to a greater understanding of our call to be your Light in the world – pointing the way toward freedom from oppression, poverty and fear. May your light shine in us as it shone through Jesus, who taught us to pray together saying…
We pray for all those whom we have named aloud in this place today, and those whose needs are tucked away in the recesses of the human spirit. God, we are skilled at ignoring our own needs, but sometimes those are the ones most in demand of our time and attention.
Help us as we balance the needs of a hurting world with the ache that hides in the corners of our own souls. Both need your Light. Both are worthy of your blessing. Your grace is more than enough to reach any hurt, any wound, any pain. We give you thanks and praise, O God.
God, we pray that this Christmas will be a time of searching and finding…
…that the baby in the manger will allow us to move from reason to wonder, from intellect to spirit, from doctrine to Mystery – in all its liberating power.
As we observe the child Jesus, remind us God that he has been born again for more than adoration. He comes also to confront and challenge.
May the child in the manger guide us to a greater understanding of our call to be your Light in the world – pointing the way toward freedom from oppression, poverty and fear. May your light shine in us as it shone through Jesus, who taught us to pray together saying…
Friday, December 28, 2007
2007 Year in Review
This is a fun way to review the year. DaniGirl had a much more exciting year than I did - pregnancy, travel, bloggy meet-ups - wow! Here are mine. These are the first sentences of the first post of each month in 2007.
January. If you haven't read it already, a must-read for 2007 is Ami McKay's "The Birth House".
February. I am officially pin-headed now. (This was after my first acupuncture session)
March. Two years ago today I started this blog.
April. It's another dreary day here with a bit of rain and a cold wind.
May. When I see this, I am torn between the hope of knowing how far women have come in Christian ministry and the sheer despair of knowing how far we have yet to travel.
June. It would have been really nice to click my heels together a few times yesterday afternoon and land back at home. (This was after the weekend in Dauphin - see post below...)
July. Yup. Off. As in - study leave, unpaid leave, holiday time.... I'm back in the pulpit the first weekend of September.
August. After a long night of dystopian dreams (honestly, I should write these dreams down and make some blockbuster movies) and untold terrors, I woke up with only a mildly achy head.
September. I haven't felt this anxious about a worship service since I preached for my professors in seminary.
October. I laughed, I cried, I was moved....typical Presbytery weekend.
November. LCotC hosted a funeral today for one of the saints in our midst.
December. This year's theme is "Leadership" in the fight against AIDS.
Hmm. That was interesting.
January. If you haven't read it already, a must-read for 2007 is Ami McKay's "The Birth House".
February. I am officially pin-headed now. (This was after my first acupuncture session)
March. Two years ago today I started this blog.
April. It's another dreary day here with a bit of rain and a cold wind.
May. When I see this, I am torn between the hope of knowing how far women have come in Christian ministry and the sheer despair of knowing how far we have yet to travel.
June. It would have been really nice to click my heels together a few times yesterday afternoon and land back at home. (This was after the weekend in Dauphin - see post below...)
July. Yup. Off. As in - study leave, unpaid leave, holiday time.... I'm back in the pulpit the first weekend of September.
August. After a long night of dystopian dreams (honestly, I should write these dreams down and make some blockbuster movies) and untold terrors, I woke up with only a mildly achy head.
September. I haven't felt this anxious about a worship service since I preached for my professors in seminary.
October. I laughed, I cried, I was moved....typical Presbytery weekend.
November. LCotC hosted a funeral today for one of the saints in our midst.
December. This year's theme is "Leadership" in the fight against AIDS.
Hmm. That was interesting.
An "Auld Lang Syne" Friday Five
Over at the RevGals site, Singing Owl has this Friday Five for us today:
It is hard to believe, but 2007 is about to be history, and this is our last Friday Five of the year.
With that in mind, share five memorable moments of 2007. These can be happy or sad, profound or silly, good or bad but things that you will remember.
Bonus points for telling us of a "God sighting"-- a moment when the light came through the darkness, a word was spoken, a song sung, laughter rang out, a sermon spoke to you in a new way--whatever you choose, but a moment in 2007 when you sensed Emmanuel, God with us. Or more particularly, you.
Ok, here are my 2007 five...
1. January 2007 - a visit from our eldest son Awesome. He lives Way out West. It was sooooo great to see him again and catch up. He is arriving for another visit in just a few weeks!!
2. Festival of Homies!! In May 2007, I headed off to Nashville for the Festival of Homiletics. It was amazing! The best part was being able to meet up with a bunch of RevGals and RevPals who were also attending the conference. It was so wonderful to meet my blogging buddies in person. We had such a good time talking about life, ministry, cats (sorry Cheesehead!) dogs and well, everything.'
3. Meeting Fred Craddock. After his presentation at the Festival of Homiletics, I mustered up some very atypical bravery, and introduced myself to Dr. Craddock. He is my homiletic Rock Star so I was very excited to meet him. He is a most gracious Southern gentleman so I didn't ask him to sign my shirt or anything, however a few of us did have our pictures taken with him.
4. Conference in Dauphin. I would love to tell you that this was memorable because it was a great annual meeting of our Conference, but that would not be true. The reason this event is memorable is that it was during this weekend that I experienced the worst headache I've ever had. On a scale of 1-10, I definitely reached 9.5 by Friday night. I left the court and walked back to our motel wondering whether a person could really just die from intense pain. Apparently not, since I survived the weekend.
What I discovered in Dauphin is that some experiences of physical pain can etch themselves into your body's memory. Every time my pain-o-meter has inched up toward 8 or 8.5, I can feel myself prepping for "Dauphin pain" - my body slows down, my breathing shifts to include occasional "cleansing breaths" and I feel cloaked in dread. It's as if every cell in my body is trying to avoid going to that level of pain, but if it is going to happen, my body is going to be ready for it.
5. Home. We made an important decision this year. We will be moving in 2008 into our new home - a condo. We're really looking forward to the move.
Bonus: "God Sighting" In May, LCotC held a Celebration Service to mark our membership in Affirm United. It was a Spirit-filled, joyous day - one that I will not soon forget.
It is hard to believe, but 2007 is about to be history, and this is our last Friday Five of the year.
With that in mind, share five memorable moments of 2007. These can be happy or sad, profound or silly, good or bad but things that you will remember.
Bonus points for telling us of a "God sighting"-- a moment when the light came through the darkness, a word was spoken, a song sung, laughter rang out, a sermon spoke to you in a new way--whatever you choose, but a moment in 2007 when you sensed Emmanuel, God with us. Or more particularly, you.
Ok, here are my 2007 five...
1. January 2007 - a visit from our eldest son Awesome. He lives Way out West. It was sooooo great to see him again and catch up. He is arriving for another visit in just a few weeks!!
2. Festival of Homies!! In May 2007, I headed off to Nashville for the Festival of Homiletics. It was amazing! The best part was being able to meet up with a bunch of RevGals and RevPals who were also attending the conference. It was so wonderful to meet my blogging buddies in person. We had such a good time talking about life, ministry, cats (sorry Cheesehead!) dogs and well, everything.'
3. Meeting Fred Craddock. After his presentation at the Festival of Homiletics, I mustered up some very atypical bravery, and introduced myself to Dr. Craddock. He is my homiletic Rock Star so I was very excited to meet him. He is a most gracious Southern gentleman so I didn't ask him to sign my shirt or anything, however a few of us did have our pictures taken with him.
4. Conference in Dauphin. I would love to tell you that this was memorable because it was a great annual meeting of our Conference, but that would not be true. The reason this event is memorable is that it was during this weekend that I experienced the worst headache I've ever had. On a scale of 1-10, I definitely reached 9.5 by Friday night. I left the court and walked back to our motel wondering whether a person could really just die from intense pain. Apparently not, since I survived the weekend.
What I discovered in Dauphin is that some experiences of physical pain can etch themselves into your body's memory. Every time my pain-o-meter has inched up toward 8 or 8.5, I can feel myself prepping for "Dauphin pain" - my body slows down, my breathing shifts to include occasional "cleansing breaths" and I feel cloaked in dread. It's as if every cell in my body is trying to avoid going to that level of pain, but if it is going to happen, my body is going to be ready for it.
5. Home. We made an important decision this year. We will be moving in 2008 into our new home - a condo. We're really looking forward to the move.
Bonus: "God Sighting" In May, LCotC held a Celebration Service to mark our membership in Affirm United. It was a Spirit-filled, joyous day - one that I will not soon forget.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Some Days are Like That
Today was a good day. Nothing on today's agenda felt burdonsome in any way. It was great to ease back into the post-Christmas rush of activity. This week I've had the luxury of Two Days Off in a Row!!! That so rarely happens in my life that it is worthy of mention. It was heavenly.
Our cats have been extremely mischievous since Christmas Eve. I think they were excited about Santa coming and about Fabulous sleeping in the downstairs bedroom, because they howled and played all night long on Monday night. Their behaviour has not improved much since then. We woke up this morning when both cats ran across the bed in a lively game of Tag.
Truffle can fly over us without much impact because she is so wee. Ouzo - not so much. It is hard not to notice when a 20 lb cat leaps on your chest at full speed. Since then, Ouzo has been focused on the Water God (a cat fountain) quite obsessively. Can cats have OCD? He takes a drink, then turns around and tries to flip the fountain over. If we take him away from it, he goes back immediately. Pillar is in the other room applying velcro tape to the bottom of the Water God so that flipping it over will be more challenging. In the meantime, we're trying to re-focus his attention with catnip and toys.
Some days are just good. This was one of those days.
Headache status: a solid 7 right now, but I'm managing it. I'll take my spot on the couch and my favourite ice bag and try to relax through the worst of the pain.
Our cats have been extremely mischievous since Christmas Eve. I think they were excited about Santa coming and about Fabulous sleeping in the downstairs bedroom, because they howled and played all night long on Monday night. Their behaviour has not improved much since then. We woke up this morning when both cats ran across the bed in a lively game of Tag.
Truffle can fly over us without much impact because she is so wee. Ouzo - not so much. It is hard not to notice when a 20 lb cat leaps on your chest at full speed. Since then, Ouzo has been focused on the Water God (a cat fountain) quite obsessively. Can cats have OCD? He takes a drink, then turns around and tries to flip the fountain over. If we take him away from it, he goes back immediately. Pillar is in the other room applying velcro tape to the bottom of the Water God so that flipping it over will be more challenging. In the meantime, we're trying to re-focus his attention with catnip and toys.
Some days are just good. This was one of those days.
Headache status: a solid 7 right now, but I'm managing it. I'll take my spot on the couch and my favourite ice bag and try to relax through the worst of the pain.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Why, Jack? Why?
Dear Jack Bauer,
Please help me understand something. You spent two years in a Chinese prison undergoing unspeakable torture at the hands of the Bad Guys. I cannot tell you how delightful it is to see you back in action in season six.
However, you seem to have forgotten how to say some simple words. Perhaps I can be of assistance.
Say it with me Jack: New-klee-ur. Nuclear. OKAY???? NOT Noo-kew-lar, as in nucular. I suspect you have been brainwashed by unkind people in the F*x Television network who think that if the whole country mispronounces a word, no one will notice that its leader does also. They are wrong.
Come on Jack, do the right thing. We have the expertise. We can retrain your brain to use proper grammar and pronunciation. Please do consider before it is too late and I have to throw the sponge brick at you.
That is all.
Sue
Please help me understand something. You spent two years in a Chinese prison undergoing unspeakable torture at the hands of the Bad Guys. I cannot tell you how delightful it is to see you back in action in season six.
However, you seem to have forgotten how to say some simple words. Perhaps I can be of assistance.
Say it with me Jack: New-klee-ur. Nuclear. OKAY???? NOT Noo-kew-lar, as in nucular. I suspect you have been brainwashed by unkind people in the F*x Television network who think that if the whole country mispronounces a word, no one will notice that its leader does also. They are wrong.
Come on Jack, do the right thing. We have the expertise. We can retrain your brain to use proper grammar and pronunciation. Please do consider before it is too late and I have to throw the sponge brick at you.
That is all.
Sue
An Easy, Splendid Day
Yesterday was a lovely quiet day here in Oz. We made our way to the tree around 9:00 am after spending Christmas Eve listening while the cats tossed the house looking for their gifts. Really. I sat up until about 3:00 am just watching them and wondering when the tree would actually fall down. Thankfully it did not come to that. Later today I will post some pics of their shenanigans. I don't know what got into them, but they were like kittens again - playing and chasing each other all. night. long.
We opened gifts and then put the turkey in the oven to roast. Then (of course) it was time for nappage. The cats were tie-tie by then and gladly joined me for the Annual Christmas Day Collapse (a nap cannot really be three or four hours, right?) I woke up feeling a bit headachy, but rested for the first time in weeks.
We had dinner, got sleepy again, and settled in to watch the beginning of Season 6 of 24. It is supposed to be a disappointing season, but I'm not seeing where it's so bad. (Yes, I know Keifer messed up, but he's paying his due, hopefully will learn a huge lesson and continue to bring us hours of entertainment as Jack Bauer. At least he was caught before he hurt anyone beyond himself.)
I'm wearing a beeyoootiful new hoody that Pillar bought for me. I also have a new hairdryer (a fancy salon-quality one) and the most recent season of Entourage. We are truly blessed.
Today will be another quiet day. The cats have already settled in.
Oops. Spoke too soon. Ouzo just tried to pry the Water God (his water fountain) out of its place on the mat that is specially designed to keep him from doing that. Huh. Whaddya know?
We opened gifts and then put the turkey in the oven to roast. Then (of course) it was time for nappage. The cats were tie-tie by then and gladly joined me for the Annual Christmas Day Collapse (a nap cannot really be three or four hours, right?) I woke up feeling a bit headachy, but rested for the first time in weeks.
We had dinner, got sleepy again, and settled in to watch the beginning of Season 6 of 24. It is supposed to be a disappointing season, but I'm not seeing where it's so bad. (Yes, I know Keifer messed up, but he's paying his due, hopefully will learn a huge lesson and continue to bring us hours of entertainment as Jack Bauer. At least he was caught before he hurt anyone beyond himself.)
I'm wearing a beeyoootiful new hoody that Pillar bought for me. I also have a new hairdryer (a fancy salon-quality one) and the most recent season of Entourage. We are truly blessed.
Today will be another quiet day. The cats have already settled in.
Oops. Spoke too soon. Ouzo just tried to pry the Water God (his water fountain) out of its place on the mat that is specially designed to keep him from doing that. Huh. Whaddya know?
Monday, December 24, 2007
Why We Do It All
Every year it's the same, but it's vastly different. Here are some highlights from the Family Communion Service tonight.
* watching a family in the back row hold on to each other through "Silent Night" - they buried their husband/father in November. They were so strong together.
* watching a lively active 94 year old woman comparing notes during the offering with an equally lively active 4 year old.
* listening to an apologetic Dad as he returned his children to their seats after the children's story - he said, "At least nothing was broken."
* trying to keep a straight face during the scripture reading after said comment.
* the hush that fell over the church as the communion liturgy began. Remarkable. You wouldn't know it was the same place that a few short moments earlier had been filled with the sounds of excited children. Not that there's anything wrong with noise - trust me, I can speak over anything. The amazing part was the reverence in those wee faces. I looked out and was darn near speechless (not necessarily a good thing when you're leading liturgy - but I carried on...)
* pulling out of the parking lot and feeling a great wave of gratitude. I really love this faith community.
Merry Christmas everyone!
* watching a family in the back row hold on to each other through "Silent Night" - they buried their husband/father in November. They were so strong together.
* watching a lively active 94 year old woman comparing notes during the offering with an equally lively active 4 year old.
* listening to an apologetic Dad as he returned his children to their seats after the children's story - he said, "At least nothing was broken."
* trying to keep a straight face during the scripture reading after said comment.
* the hush that fell over the church as the communion liturgy began. Remarkable. You wouldn't know it was the same place that a few short moments earlier had been filled with the sounds of excited children. Not that there's anything wrong with noise - trust me, I can speak over anything. The amazing part was the reverence in those wee faces. I looked out and was darn near speechless (not necessarily a good thing when you're leading liturgy - but I carried on...)
* pulling out of the parking lot and feeling a great wave of gratitude. I really love this faith community.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Aaaaaaaaand....they're off!
I'm sitting here in the calm before the storm of activity that will happen tonight. I am trying to remember what Christmas Eve used to be like before I started my ministry. I know it was different, but how? What was the "feeling" of those Christmases that has been re-shaped and reformed over the years?
I remember the rush of activities with our boys and what a looooong day Christmas Eve seemed to be for them. I remember my sons watching "The Grinch" and "Charlie Brown's Christmas" over and over again on our VCR (before that it was Beta!). I remember great meals with my family and hurrying through Christmas Eve dinner so we could get to the first service at church. I remember snow boots and mitts and jackets piled up and at the ready for the next place we had to go on our Christmas Eve visits.
I remember the Christmas Eve that was so bitterly cold that the bows on the packages in the back of our van were popping off as we warmed up the car. I remember the excitement of my sons and how for that one night they couldn't wait to get to sleep because when they woke up, it would be Christmas Day.
I worked a lot of Christmas Eves at the hospital, as did Pillar in his job. So work hours also played into the busy-ness and fun of the season. In many ways, Christmas has always been a frenetic, chaotic time for us. Thanks be to God, back then I had the energy for it!
But I also remember how the pace slowed down as our children grew up. I remember being home from seminary and having no demands on me at all for the entire Christmas season. I remember the four of us playing cards or Scrabble between the early and late worship services (which I attended but had no role in conducting). I remember those first Christmases when it occurred to me that it was okay to slow down, not speed up during the holidays. Not to rush the church calendar along, but it was truly an Epiphany.
These days, Christmas is busy. Christmas Eve feels like the day when (some, not all) clergy-types like myself are let out of the gate at the early service and we're off and running full-out until the lights are turned off at the church after midnight.
The quiet in the sanctuary after the late service is the start of my Christmas now. I can officially rest (hopefully) for at least the two days of Christmas and Boxing Day. The build up to these two days has been more than a month in the making. I start to decompress as soon as the last candle is blown out. Until then, I'm off and running.
Please make no mistake, I wouldn't be anywhere else tonight. I love the sound of a full church singing favourite hymns. I love the excitement of the children as they make their way up to the chancel to hear the Christmas story. The candles and communion shared with familiar faces and the pleasure of welcoming new people into our church home - it's all good.
LCotC does Christmas well. The traditions we celebrate tonight began long before I arrived and we keep them because they work. Early family service = chaos. Late service = contemplation. Both are wonderful. Both include communion. Both define Christmas for me in a way that all of the gifts and ribbons and trappings of the season never will. I like it that way.
I suppose you might say that our Christmas has evolved. We will have a quiet dinner of seafood casserole in a few minutes (my Mom's recipe). Tomorrow we will open gifts and have dinner with my in-laws, Pillar, Fabulous and I all wishing that Awesome could be here. He's with friends Way out West, but we'll see him in January. We spoke with him last evening and he's looking forward to visiting with a friend's family this year.
It is nice to know that in just a few hours, all the planning and preparation will be finished, and I can just *be* in Christmas.
Merry Christmas everyone!!
I remember the rush of activities with our boys and what a looooong day Christmas Eve seemed to be for them. I remember my sons watching "The Grinch" and "Charlie Brown's Christmas" over and over again on our VCR (before that it was Beta!). I remember great meals with my family and hurrying through Christmas Eve dinner so we could get to the first service at church. I remember snow boots and mitts and jackets piled up and at the ready for the next place we had to go on our Christmas Eve visits.
I remember the Christmas Eve that was so bitterly cold that the bows on the packages in the back of our van were popping off as we warmed up the car. I remember the excitement of my sons and how for that one night they couldn't wait to get to sleep because when they woke up, it would be Christmas Day.
I worked a lot of Christmas Eves at the hospital, as did Pillar in his job. So work hours also played into the busy-ness and fun of the season. In many ways, Christmas has always been a frenetic, chaotic time for us. Thanks be to God, back then I had the energy for it!
But I also remember how the pace slowed down as our children grew up. I remember being home from seminary and having no demands on me at all for the entire Christmas season. I remember the four of us playing cards or Scrabble between the early and late worship services (which I attended but had no role in conducting). I remember those first Christmases when it occurred to me that it was okay to slow down, not speed up during the holidays. Not to rush the church calendar along, but it was truly an Epiphany.
These days, Christmas is busy. Christmas Eve feels like the day when (some, not all) clergy-types like myself are let out of the gate at the early service and we're off and running full-out until the lights are turned off at the church after midnight.
The quiet in the sanctuary after the late service is the start of my Christmas now. I can officially rest (hopefully) for at least the two days of Christmas and Boxing Day. The build up to these two days has been more than a month in the making. I start to decompress as soon as the last candle is blown out. Until then, I'm off and running.
Please make no mistake, I wouldn't be anywhere else tonight. I love the sound of a full church singing favourite hymns. I love the excitement of the children as they make their way up to the chancel to hear the Christmas story. The candles and communion shared with familiar faces and the pleasure of welcoming new people into our church home - it's all good.
LCotC does Christmas well. The traditions we celebrate tonight began long before I arrived and we keep them because they work. Early family service = chaos. Late service = contemplation. Both are wonderful. Both include communion. Both define Christmas for me in a way that all of the gifts and ribbons and trappings of the season never will. I like it that way.
I suppose you might say that our Christmas has evolved. We will have a quiet dinner of seafood casserole in a few minutes (my Mom's recipe). Tomorrow we will open gifts and have dinner with my in-laws, Pillar, Fabulous and I all wishing that Awesome could be here. He's with friends Way out West, but we'll see him in January. We spoke with him last evening and he's looking forward to visiting with a friend's family this year.
It is nice to know that in just a few hours, all the planning and preparation will be finished, and I can just *be* in Christmas.
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Christmas Eve music to *sniff* by...
This is a video of Amanda Ackerman singing "Breathe" at the 2005 General Confernce of the MCC church. I heard it first over at Rainbow Pastor's place.
It really filled a space in my soul yesterday, so I though I'd post it here.
It really filled a space in my soul yesterday, so I though I'd post it here.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Sunday Prayer
God of the Manger, God of us all, we humbly gather our prayers before you as we prepare to celebrate Jesus’ birth. We give thanks for his life, his ministry, and the hope that his very being can represent for us.
God, we give thanks for all the goodness of the season – for families who gather in from far distances to share the holidays together… for families who cannot be together in the same physical place, but whose spirits are forever bound in the goodness of loving and happy memories of past Christmases.
We thank you for laughter, for friends, for the stories we share and the joy waiting to be unwrapped in this season of gifts and giving.
God we pray for those who are struggling today…
…for those who are walking the path of grieving and cannot bring the symbols of the season into focus. As their tears blur their vision of Christmas trees and angels in the night, we pray that your comforting presence will be known and that your Spirit will enfold all who grieve.
…we pray for all who are ill at this time of the year and whose greatest wish is for days of health and wholeness.
…we pray for those who are lonely, or struggling with addiction, and for those whose holiday memories are not happy ones. Bring a renewed sense of your love to those most in need this Christmas.
These and all of our prayers we offer at the holy place where hope is born again – the manger within each of us, where Jesus brings the light of hope to all of creation. And now we pray using the words that Jesus taught to his friends…
Amen.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Check List
I do love a good list...
1. Sunday prep - check.
2. Gifts wrapped - wait for it, I'm on my way to do that next.
3. Football game - Dallas/Carolina playing while wrapping activity takes place. Where is Jessica???
4. Kitteh help - not going to happen. Both are seriously in the Zone, stacking up a plethora of zzzzzzzzs.
5. Baking - BWAAHAAAHAAA. You're funny. Sue doesn't bake. Ever. It's better that way, trust me.
6. Last minute grocery list - check. Only two items, easily purchased at the Less Crowded and Locally Owned grocer's.
7. Hot Flash - check. The last one was about ten minutes ago. Don't worry, I closed the front door after I "took some air".
8. Headache - check. About 7 on the pain-O-meter. Not bad for this time of night.
9. Scotch eggs - check. My sister makes them for me at Christmas time. She is dropping them off tomorrow for Christmas morning breakfast. Yum. (Sorry, I don't have the recipe. Basically, it is a hard boiled egg, peeled and wrapped in a sausage and bread crumb - or cornflake crumb - mixture, then baked in the oven to cook the sausage. They are a delectable, Christmas-time-only treat in our family.)
10. Tree decorated - check. Okay, so there are only a dozen or so ornaments on it, but it's a start. And the angel is on the top of the tree.
11. Hair - check. Straightened, ready for tomorrow. If I don't sleep on it. I am SO loving the grey, people. Why did I ever "condition" it (as St. Casserole would put it)????
12. Check list - check.
As you were....
1. Sunday prep - check.
2. Gifts wrapped - wait for it, I'm on my way to do that next.
3. Football game - Dallas/Carolina playing while wrapping activity takes place. Where is Jessica???
4. Kitteh help - not going to happen. Both are seriously in the Zone, stacking up a plethora of zzzzzzzzs.
5. Baking - BWAAHAAAHAAA. You're funny. Sue doesn't bake. Ever. It's better that way, trust me.
6. Last minute grocery list - check. Only two items, easily purchased at the Less Crowded and Locally Owned grocer's.
7. Hot Flash - check. The last one was about ten minutes ago. Don't worry, I closed the front door after I "took some air".
8. Headache - check. About 7 on the pain-O-meter. Not bad for this time of night.
9. Scotch eggs - check. My sister makes them for me at Christmas time. She is dropping them off tomorrow for Christmas morning breakfast. Yum. (Sorry, I don't have the recipe. Basically, it is a hard boiled egg, peeled and wrapped in a sausage and bread crumb - or cornflake crumb - mixture, then baked in the oven to cook the sausage. They are a delectable, Christmas-time-only treat in our family.)
10. Tree decorated - check. Okay, so there are only a dozen or so ornaments on it, but it's a start. And the angel is on the top of the tree.
11. Hair - check. Straightened, ready for tomorrow. If I don't sleep on it. I am SO loving the grey, people. Why did I ever "condition" it (as St. Casserole would put it)????
12. Check list - check.
As you were....
Friday, December 21, 2007
Home
See that orange tarp on the ground?
It is covering up the footings and the ground floor of our new home. Pillar and I have reserved a two bed, two bath (two bath!!!!) condominium in this building. We were able to secure an underground parking spot as well, which will give us so much more freedom to go out in the winter months.
The building is nearer to the church than our present home is, and will have a lovely balcony view of the surrounding neighbourhood. The fall colours will be wonderful! Best of all - we can have the condo built to our own specifications, which means we can include all of the necessary safety features in the bathrooms and make it a home that is fully accessible for both of us.
I am trying not to get too excited yet. It will likely be a full year before we're actually moved in and settled into our new home.
Home.
It's never been about the structure for us. We've lived in too many apartments to count and three detached homes for extended periods of time. With every move we knew that the place we were leaving behind was just four walls and a roof that didn't suit our needs any more. It will be the same with our present Little House in the Most Delightfully Diverse Neighbourhood. It's been a good run here, but it's time for exactly the right family to make it their own. It's time for us to simplify our living even more than we have. So, a condo it is!
The reason we can let this house go without too much heartache is that all of the very best things about our home are the things we take with us - memories. It's never about the bricks and mortar. It's always about the things that last. Like memories of home. This time next year, perhaps we will be growing a whole new set of memories in our new condo!
In the meantime, the workers at the site will likely tire of the odd little woman who grins ear to ear at their progress and comes every week to take more pictures. How can I not follow along? They're building our home.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
In Which Sue Rawks!
Today went really well with the unbloggable, need for empowerment event. It didn't hurt that my friend was able to drive to said event. Her encouragement was just as lovely as our lunch beforehand.
I rocked it, people!
Knowing I had so many supportive people, including Mindy and Rach and the Texas Towncar O' Justice, was so very helpful. I felt all those empowerment vibes - so thanks.
By the way, who ended up riding in the trunk of the TToJ? Can you hear Rach's excellent musical selections from the trunk? Can you sing along if your mouth is covered with duct-tape? These are the questions of the ages...
So, it's all good. I feel good. The situation has worked itself out in the best possible way. I spoke up for myself because I really needed some questions answered. And they were.
I rocked it, people!
Knowing I had so many supportive people, including Mindy and Rach and the Texas Towncar O' Justice, was so very helpful. I felt all those empowerment vibes - so thanks.
By the way, who ended up riding in the trunk of the TToJ? Can you hear Rach's excellent musical selections from the trunk? Can you sing along if your mouth is covered with duct-tape? These are the questions of the ages...
So, it's all good. I feel good. The situation has worked itself out in the best possible way. I spoke up for myself because I really needed some questions answered. And they were.
Sorta Makes You Want to Treat It With a Little More Respect...
I've been helping our Trusty Rusty Van to limp along through the past three winters. She does not like the cold anymore, and she really dislikes the damp. If it rains, she would prefer to stay in the garage, thankyouverymuch.
This morning, we found out that the Ole Girl is highly sought after. Just check out this list!
I'm looking at her in an entirely new way this morning.
This morning, we found out that the Ole Girl is highly sought after. Just check out this list!
Three Dodge Caravans made the top 10 list. Dubin said these vehicles are popular because they are perceived as being easy to strip and sell for parts.
The Top 10 stolen vehicles are:
1. 1999 Honda Civic SiR 2-door
2. 2000 Honda Civic SiR 2-door
3. 2004 Subaru Impreza WRX/WRX STi 4-door AWD
4. 1999 Acura Integra 2-door
5. 1994 Dodge/Plymouth Grand Caravan/Voyager
6. 1994 Dodge/Plymouth Grand Caravan/Voyager AWD
7. 1994 Dodge/Plymouth Caravan/Voyager
8. 1998 Acura Integra 2-door
9. 2000 Audi TT Quattro 2-door Coupe
10.1994 Dodge/Plymouth Shadow/Sundance 2-door Hatchback
I'm looking at her in an entirely new way this morning.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Unbloggability
I have at least five posts that are vastly unbloggable. Some of them are very good news, while others are hovering around trying to break me down an inch at a time. I feel as if I'm hanging on the edge by my little pinky, stubbornly insisting that the Good posts are enough to keep me from the Plummet. All of this is made all the more challenging by a most Scrooge-like Headache.
On one of those unbloggables, I'm about ready to call on Mindy and Rach to take a ride up north in the Texas Towncar o' Justice. I could use a can or two of whoop*ss to back up my righteous indignation about.....well, something.
NOTE: my righteous indignation has NOTHING to do with CHURCH. 'kay?
I could use some positive Empowerment vibes. I'm getting better at advocating for myself, but in truth, it remains a full-on challenge. So, if you're so inclined, I could use some prayers.
(Empowermints courtesy of The Unemployed Philosopher's Guild.)
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Merry Minimalist Christmas
I still have most of a week, right? Tonight was supposed to be the night for decorating the tree, but soon after I arrived home it was clear that nothing was going to be added to the branches. Teh Headache was back in a furious fashion.
Interestingly, I noticed about an hour after I got back to the church this afternoon that my left eye had the slightest twitch to it. That's a new one for me. When the headache hit with full force a few hours later, it was on the same side as the twitch. Coincidence? Overtired (Duh! Final week of Advent = tired)? Food trigger? Nothing?
Whatever.
I am beginning to understand "battle" language in relation to illness. You know how the obituaries always talk about how someone "fought with cancer" to the very end? I've never quite understood what that meant in a literal sense until now. I spent the evening facing off with the pain.
We stood eye to eye for the entire evening. I still don't have the upper hand here. Pain is down to 7-ish from that "Panic Stations All Hands To Deck" 9 that I was immersed in around 8:00 pm. The good news is that I really did some battle with the pain...
Me: Ok, I won't be decorating anything tonight. It can wait. I'm going to rest tonight.
Pain: It's really bugging you that I spoiled your plans.
Me: No it's not. Ok, maybe a little. But not as much as it would have a year ago. I'll give you some room in my life, but you don't get the whole deal.
Pain: I control you. I win every time.
Me: Really? You honestly believe that?
Pain: Yup. It's you, me and the ice baby. Nothing else matters. Nothing else exists. Just me.
Me: Wrong. I had TWO good mornings last week. Two. And there will be more. I know it.
Pain: Right. You go ahead and believe that, but we both know better. I'm here for the long haul so you may as well settle in and get used to having me around.
Me: No, I'm not ready. I'm hauling out everything I've got to get rid of you for good. Don't get too comfortable - I'm sending you to the curb asap.
Pain: Go and get your ice. We've got a long night ahead of us.
Me: Maybe for tonight. Tomorrow? We'll see...
Me:
Interestingly, I noticed about an hour after I got back to the church this afternoon that my left eye had the slightest twitch to it. That's a new one for me. When the headache hit with full force a few hours later, it was on the same side as the twitch. Coincidence? Overtired (Duh! Final week of Advent = tired)? Food trigger? Nothing?
Whatever.
I am beginning to understand "battle" language in relation to illness. You know how the obituaries always talk about how someone "fought with cancer" to the very end? I've never quite understood what that meant in a literal sense until now. I spent the evening facing off with the pain.
We stood eye to eye for the entire evening. I still don't have the upper hand here. Pain is down to 7-ish from that "Panic Stations All Hands To Deck" 9 that I was immersed in around 8:00 pm. The good news is that I really did some battle with the pain...
Me: Ok, I won't be decorating anything tonight. It can wait. I'm going to rest tonight.
Pain: It's really bugging you that I spoiled your plans.
Me: No it's not. Ok, maybe a little. But not as much as it would have a year ago. I'll give you some room in my life, but you don't get the whole deal.
Pain: I control you. I win every time.
Me: Really? You honestly believe that?
Pain: Yup. It's you, me and the ice baby. Nothing else matters. Nothing else exists. Just me.
Me: Wrong. I had TWO good mornings last week. Two. And there will be more. I know it.
Pain: Right. You go ahead and believe that, but we both know better. I'm here for the long haul so you may as well settle in and get used to having me around.
Me: No, I'm not ready. I'm hauling out everything I've got to get rid of you for good. Don't get too comfortable - I'm sending you to the curb asap.
Pain: Go and get your ice. We've got a long night ahead of us.
Me: Maybe for tonight. Tomorrow? We'll see...
Me:
Well, *that* felt good...
I am at the office this morning. Visiting will happen this afternoon, and really, for the rest of the week. So one might suspect that I would use these valuable hours in the office for productive things such as worship preparation for the first Sunday in January, right? You might make that assumption, but you would be wrong.
Office Admin has the task of copying all the worship bulletins for the weekend and Christmas Eve, and I should probably be helping her fold them all - there are hundreds. I'm a bit sad to think of all the trees destroyed by the UCCan on Christmas Eve so that everyone can follow along with a service that hasn't really changed for, well, forever. On the other hand, I live in an area where many families will not have much of a Christmas this year because of job cuts in the forest industry. You see my dilemma....
But I had another task as well this morning.
Since Sunday I've been carrying some sadness, frustration, and generally icky feelings about our church building. You see, we're not fully accessible. A wheelchair can get into the sanctuary, but not to the basement where the kitchen, church hall and washrooms are. I know. It's sad. Not to mention shameful.
Our mandate as a congregation is to be inclusive, and yet I had to apologize to FOUR people on Sunday morning who wanted to join us downstairs for lunch but could not because they cannot manage the stairs. I could mention that Pillar hasn't been in the building for years, but that sort of goes without saying. It's not about him. It's about everyone who finds walls instead of doors - at CHURCHES.
I'll stop now. But probably not for long.
So I spent a half hour or so writing the first draft of my Annual Report which included our need to get serious about inclusion. The report will NEVER be sent out as it is, but I needed to write it just the same. I may post it here, but I doubt it.
In my family of origin, we called such documents sh*t-grams. SO not appropriate for an Annual Report. Good thing I know that, don't you think? *grin*
I feel much better now. *breathing deeply, off to pray and do minister-ly things*
Office Admin has the task of copying all the worship bulletins for the weekend and Christmas Eve, and I should probably be helping her fold them all - there are hundreds. I'm a bit sad to think of all the trees destroyed by the UCCan on Christmas Eve so that everyone can follow along with a service that hasn't really changed for, well, forever. On the other hand, I live in an area where many families will not have much of a Christmas this year because of job cuts in the forest industry. You see my dilemma....
But I had another task as well this morning.
Since Sunday I've been carrying some sadness, frustration, and generally icky feelings about our church building. You see, we're not fully accessible. A wheelchair can get into the sanctuary, but not to the basement where the kitchen, church hall and washrooms are. I know. It's sad. Not to mention shameful.
Our mandate as a congregation is to be inclusive, and yet I had to apologize to FOUR people on Sunday morning who wanted to join us downstairs for lunch but could not because they cannot manage the stairs. I could mention that Pillar hasn't been in the building for years, but that sort of goes without saying. It's not about him. It's about everyone who finds walls instead of doors - at CHURCHES.
I'll stop now. But probably not for long.
So I spent a half hour or so writing the first draft of my Annual Report which included our need to get serious about inclusion. The report will NEVER be sent out as it is, but I needed to write it just the same. I may post it here, but I doubt it.
In my family of origin, we called such documents sh*t-grams. SO not appropriate for an Annual Report. Good thing I know that, don't you think? *grin*
I feel much better now. *breathing deeply, off to pray and do minister-ly things*
Monday, December 17, 2007
Note to Self
Sometime in the next, say, fifteen years of my ministry, I'm going to write the narration for a Christmas Cantata that doesn't catch in my throat. To be clear, the *music* in yesterday's Cantata was perfect, and as I followed along in the song book I found the lyrics were actually quite contemporary and well-grounded in a theological sense.
But, oh my goodness, the narration was horrid. I could barely choke out some of the antiquated and darn-near offensive theology. The language was only the starting point (Git yer All. Male. God. Language. Here!) - it was simply dreadful. It was not my place to re-write it. It was chosen by the music director for her special day, and I wasn't about to mess with it.
But honestly, when is someone going to write a United Church of Canada-friendly Cantata???
But, oh my goodness, the narration was horrid. I could barely choke out some of the antiquated and darn-near offensive theology. The language was only the starting point (Git yer All. Male. God. Language. Here!) - it was simply dreadful. It was not my place to re-write it. It was chosen by the music director for her special day, and I wasn't about to mess with it.
But honestly, when is someone going to write a United Church of Canada-friendly Cantata???
Sunday, December 16, 2007
A Purpose Driven Pain?
In the comments below, Rick in Va referenced this article on pain written by Jill Carattini. It is a good article and a good reminder that physical pain has a basic human purpose.
On a practical level, it makes sense to recognize that pain tells us to remove our hand from the hot serving dish or we will be burned. Anthropologcially speaking, our human pain response has probably played an important part in our evolution and essential survival.
Theologically, I am challenged daily in my ministry with the Ultimate Question inherent to the human condition - Why Pain? Why suffering?
I can honestly say that at no point in over two years of headache pain have I asked "Why me?" As much as I've done my share of whining, it just has not occurred to me to expend energy on this question. I only have the energy to ask, "How do I cope? How do I make it stop?"
I don't believe God causes pain, ever. So really, what is the point in trying to convince God to move my particular chess piece in another direction on the Fictional Chess Game of Life? From where I'm sitting, there is no chess strategy, and God's not playing a game. Sh*t happens. Life is full of both joy and sorrow.
I believe my energy is much better used in asking God to provide strength and comfort, which I think is entirely more in her nature to do anyway.
Here is part of the article:
This is a timely article for me. Headache-wise, two relatively easy days (Friday and Saturday) followed by a fairly heinous Sunday puts me in an interesting place. I can either hang on to those two days for dear life, hoping there will be more. Or, I can indulge my sadness about this afternoon's awful pain and give into that feeling that This Thing Is Never Going Away.
Clearly, the first option is preferable. But the second option hovers. Choosing between these two polarities happens so many times in a day that I'm hardly aware of it anymore. On a good day, I choose door number one more often than door number two.
On a really good day, I have the energy to check in with how and why I'm making the choice for hope or the choice for despair.
Has my pain had any purpose? What has been learned, gained, or transformed because I've lived in this wilderness of severe pain?
* I have a deeper understanding of the struggle of chronic pain sufferers.
* I have discovered that pain itself will not kill you, even when that seems like a much kinder option than another minute of desperate pain.
* I have learned assertiveness (in some circumstances - hey, it's a process). I have found my voice and learned that I can advocate for myself and what I need, and that doing so is good thing. I am worth the effort.
* Surely there was a weekend workshop somewhere that could have instilled that assertiveness without the need for extreme physical pain.
* The apostle Paul knew what he was talking about when it came to those "sighs too deep for words." I've learned that those sighs are prayers.
Enough. My head is actually better now than it was this afternoon. I'm down to about 7 now.
I just listened to all of this Christmas CD - so really, life is pretty good. How can I feel low after hearing Miss Piggy singing "Five Golden Riiiiiinnnnggggs" ba-dum-bum-bum.....
Night all.
On a practical level, it makes sense to recognize that pain tells us to remove our hand from the hot serving dish or we will be burned. Anthropologcially speaking, our human pain response has probably played an important part in our evolution and essential survival.
Theologically, I am challenged daily in my ministry with the Ultimate Question inherent to the human condition - Why Pain? Why suffering?
I can honestly say that at no point in over two years of headache pain have I asked "Why me?" As much as I've done my share of whining, it just has not occurred to me to expend energy on this question. I only have the energy to ask, "How do I cope? How do I make it stop?"
I don't believe God causes pain, ever. So really, what is the point in trying to convince God to move my particular chess piece in another direction on the Fictional Chess Game of Life? From where I'm sitting, there is no chess strategy, and God's not playing a game. Sh*t happens. Life is full of both joy and sorrow.
I believe my energy is much better used in asking God to provide strength and comfort, which I think is entirely more in her nature to do anyway.
Here is part of the article:
As comforting as knowing God will one day wipe away every tear from our eyes is the thought that the one in heaven does not see our pain here as a pointless or empty occurrence. Just as our tears will be tended to in eternity, the psalmist reminds us that so our tears on earth do not go unnoticed. Our pain is not haphazardly viewed by the one who made tear ducts that spill over with grief and anguish. God has kept count of our sorrowful struggling; each tear is recorded as pain steeped with meaning. Like a parent grieving at a child's wound, God reaches out to you in--perhaps even through--your pain, speaking gently into your heightened sense of awareness. And with the Son who wept at the grave of Lazarus, God collects your tears in his bottle until the day tears will be no more.
This is a timely article for me. Headache-wise, two relatively easy days (Friday and Saturday) followed by a fairly heinous Sunday puts me in an interesting place. I can either hang on to those two days for dear life, hoping there will be more. Or, I can indulge my sadness about this afternoon's awful pain and give into that feeling that This Thing Is Never Going Away.
Clearly, the first option is preferable. But the second option hovers. Choosing between these two polarities happens so many times in a day that I'm hardly aware of it anymore. On a good day, I choose door number one more often than door number two.
On a really good day, I have the energy to check in with how and why I'm making the choice for hope or the choice for despair.
Has my pain had any purpose? What has been learned, gained, or transformed because I've lived in this wilderness of severe pain?
* I have a deeper understanding of the struggle of chronic pain sufferers.
* I have discovered that pain itself will not kill you, even when that seems like a much kinder option than another minute of desperate pain.
* I have learned assertiveness (in some circumstances - hey, it's a process). I have found my voice and learned that I can advocate for myself and what I need, and that doing so is good thing. I am worth the effort.
* Surely there was a weekend workshop somewhere that could have instilled that assertiveness without the need for extreme physical pain.
* The apostle Paul knew what he was talking about when it came to those "sighs too deep for words." I've learned that those sighs are prayers.
Enough. My head is actually better now than it was this afternoon. I'm down to about 7 now.
I just listened to all of this Christmas CD - so really, life is pretty good. How can I feel low after hearing Miss Piggy singing "Five Golden Riiiiiinnnnggggs" ba-dum-bum-bum.....
Night all.
Home Stretch Poetry
I actually meant to post this last week when John the Baptist was fresh in our minds, but my mind, well - not so fresh.
Headache this morning is around 5 - still not bad but not the Free and Clear WooHoo status of yesterday and the day before. That's okay, I will take what I can get. :)
To everyone who is snowed in today: An extra blessing to all of you. Just to be clear though - we are not snowed in, however much of the NorthEast coast of the US of A is buried in the white stuff. As Songbird pointed out, cancelling worship is always a tough call, but safety has to come first. May God's presence be felt in the temple of your hearts today. And in the shoveling of your walks.
This is a poem I found in my Advent files from way back in my seminary days. It is written by Cheryl Kristolaitis. I have to admit that when I first read it, I didn't quite understand it. After ten Advents in congregational minsitry, I read it in a very different way now.
Ok, I'm not so sure about that commentary regarding the "most peculiar clothes" but you get the idea....
Blessings to all. We are just a whisper away from the celebration of Hope's rebirth.
Headache this morning is around 5 - still not bad but not the Free and Clear WooHoo status of yesterday and the day before. That's okay, I will take what I can get. :)
To everyone who is snowed in today: An extra blessing to all of you. Just to be clear though - we are not snowed in, however much of the NorthEast coast of the US of A is buried in the white stuff. As Songbird pointed out, cancelling worship is always a tough call, but safety has to come first. May God's presence be felt in the temple of your hearts today. And in the shoveling of your walks.
This is a poem I found in my Advent files from way back in my seminary days. It is written by Cheryl Kristolaitis. I have to admit that when I first read it, I didn't quite understand it. After ten Advents in congregational minsitry, I read it in a very different way now.
I am not the Messiah: an Advent poem for pastors and leaders.
Soemtimes they crowd around me,
wanting to be baptized,
asking for foregiveness,
seeking healing of mind or body,
as if I could give them what they seek.
Do they not see me standing in a wilderness,
a borderland of arid soil and muddy water,
proclaiming that which is not yet?
Don't get me confused with the One I proclaim.
I am no Messiah,
no long-awaited Saviour.
Just a servant of the Most High,
wet and hungry,
dressed in the most peculiar clothes,
pointing to the One on the way.
All of us, wet with Jordan water,
waiting
for the drenching of the Spirit.
by Cheryl Kristolaitis.
Ok, I'm not so sure about that commentary regarding the "most peculiar clothes" but you get the idea....
Blessings to all. We are just a whisper away from the celebration of Hope's rebirth.
Sunday Prayer
Most Gracious and Mysterious God, we lift up our hearts and spirits on this third Sunday in Advent. This is the week of Joy – the celebration of the glorious announcement to Mary that her life would resonate through time and that her ‘yes’ to God would echo for all generations to hear.
God, hear our “yes” today, as we give thanks for the blessings you bring to our lives. Hear our collective “yes” as a faith community ready to share our joy with a world in need of your light and your love.
Holy One, we ask your blessing for all who are troubled or are struggling at this time...for those who are ill or lonely or desperate with poverty or hunger. God, bless all who have difficulty at this time of the year with the heartache of grief and loss.
Bring the joy and peace of your presence to all creation, and may your Spirit hover close wherever there is need of healing, strength or comfort in the coming week.
God of all goodness, be with us as we approach the manger this year. Remind us of the gifts that really matter – compassion, caring and love.
Bless us as we gather up our yearnings for joy, for justice and for peace in our time – and bring them to the place where hope is born. These and all of the prayers of our hearts we offer in the name of Jesus, who taught us to pray together saying...
God, hear our “yes” today, as we give thanks for the blessings you bring to our lives. Hear our collective “yes” as a faith community ready to share our joy with a world in need of your light and your love.
Holy One, we ask your blessing for all who are troubled or are struggling at this time...for those who are ill or lonely or desperate with poverty or hunger. God, bless all who have difficulty at this time of the year with the heartache of grief and loss.
Bring the joy and peace of your presence to all creation, and may your Spirit hover close wherever there is need of healing, strength or comfort in the coming week.
God of all goodness, be with us as we approach the manger this year. Remind us of the gifts that really matter – compassion, caring and love.
Bless us as we gather up our yearnings for joy, for justice and for peace in our time – and bring them to the place where hope is born. These and all of the prayers of our hearts we offer in the name of Jesus, who taught us to pray together saying...
Saturday, December 15, 2007
*knock knock knock knock knock knock knock*
That's me, knocking on every wooden surface I can find. Not that I'm the superstitious type, but it can't hurt, right?
Where Sue whispers very quietly:
This is the second day in a row that I have awakened to the unfamiliar feeling of having next to no head pain.
**knock knock knock knock knock - Thank you God - knock knock knock knock**
As yesterday progressed, so did the head pain, but it never reached its usual nighttime rating of 8 out of 10 on the pain-O-meter. Progress? Baby steps, yes, but I'll take whatever I can get.
The temptation of course is to do too much because I have a bit of energy and have no sharp pain slowing me down.
I'm trying to take it easy today. So far, I've registered for the Festival of Homiletics 2008 which takes place in late May. I've booked my hotel room as well. WooHoo!
Registering for the Festival of Homies made me feel a bit less sad about missing The Big Event hosted by the RevGals. It is a cruise in late March and I am unable to attend. Alas, there will no mojitos on the Lido deck for this RevGal. Maybe next time...
Where Sue whispers very quietly:
This is the second day in a row that I have awakened to the unfamiliar feeling of having next to no head pain.
**knock knock knock knock knock - Thank you God - knock knock knock knock**
As yesterday progressed, so did the head pain, but it never reached its usual nighttime rating of 8 out of 10 on the pain-O-meter. Progress? Baby steps, yes, but I'll take whatever I can get.
The temptation of course is to do too much because I have a bit of energy and have no sharp pain slowing me down.
I'm trying to take it easy today. So far, I've registered for the Festival of Homiletics 2008 which takes place in late May. I've booked my hotel room as well. WooHoo!
Registering for the Festival of Homies made me feel a bit less sad about missing The Big Event hosted by the RevGals. It is a cruise in late March and I am unable to attend. Alas, there will no mojitos on the Lido deck for this RevGal. Maybe next time...
Friday, December 14, 2007
RevGal Friday Five: Gaudete Edition!
This week, our Friday Five is sponsored by Mother Laura, who says:
1. Waiting? I don't mind waiting. Maybe it's something that I've acquired with age and wisdom, but I honestly enjoy waiting sometimes. It's all about perspective. A person can make a ten minute wait for the bus, dentist appt, or whatever, a terrible experience or a good one. I prefer the latter.
2. Darkness? Love. It. I find darkness very warm, familiar and comforting. If I was 15, I would be so goth....
3. Winter? Love. It. Where I live, you either like winter or move to Arizona. There are those warm, snowy days (which are much better if you don't have to shovel, by the way) and then the days following the snow when the high pressure system moves in and the sky is at its bluest. Of course, you can freeze your extremities in that clear cold weather, but the challenge of that is half the fun of it.
Without winter, what would Canadians have to talk about???? There is a classic Air Farce skit about three Canadians waiting at a bus stop. The conversation goes something like this:
A fourth person comes and stands with the others and says,
I tried to find the skit on YouTube, but couldn't find it.
4. Advent? Generally a good time of the year for me. This year it has been a bit of a tough one. I like the anticipation of The Big Night, mostly because the beauty of those Christmas Eve worship experiences never gets old for me.
5. Jesus' coming? Hope arriving. Indeed.
Can you believe that in two days we'll be halfway through Advent? Gaudete Sunday: pink candle on the advent wreath, rose vestments for those who have them, concerts and pageants in many congregations. Time to rejoice!the following:
Rejoice in the nearness of Christ's coming, yes, but also in the many gifts of the pregnant waiting time when the world (in the northern hemisphere, at least) spins ever deeper into sweet, fertile darkness.
What makes you rejoice about
1. Waiting? I don't mind waiting. Maybe it's something that I've acquired with age and wisdom, but I honestly enjoy waiting sometimes. It's all about perspective. A person can make a ten minute wait for the bus, dentist appt, or whatever, a terrible experience or a good one. I prefer the latter.
2. Darkness? Love. It. I find darkness very warm, familiar and comforting. If I was 15, I would be so goth....
3. Winter? Love. It. Where I live, you either like winter or move to Arizona. There are those warm, snowy days (which are much better if you don't have to shovel, by the way) and then the days following the snow when the high pressure system moves in and the sky is at its bluest. Of course, you can freeze your extremities in that clear cold weather, but the challenge of that is half the fun of it.
Without winter, what would Canadians have to talk about???? There is a classic Air Farce skit about three Canadians waiting at a bus stop. The conversation goes something like this:
"Cold enough for ya?" *shivering*
"Ya. It's a cold one."
"Really cold, eh?"
A fourth person comes and stands with the others and says,
"Windy, eh?"and the other three look at him like he's grown antlers. Then the fourth guy says
"...and Cold!"and they all nod knowingly.
I tried to find the skit on YouTube, but couldn't find it.
4. Advent? Generally a good time of the year for me. This year it has been a bit of a tough one. I like the anticipation of The Big Night, mostly because the beauty of those Christmas Eve worship experiences never gets old for me.
5. Jesus' coming? Hope arriving. Indeed.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Guest Bloggers: Ouzo and Truffle
It turns out that Littlemankitty was right. The human critters actually *enjoy* dressing us up for the "holidays". I don't actually mind my scarf, but I don't understand why it doesn't come with extra cat cookies.
Signed, Ouzo (p.s. Please send cat cookies. Clearly these people are not giving me enough treats.)
The indignity of this season is really more than an elegant cat like myself should have to bear. Every year, the humans put this scarf on me, take pictures and tell me I am beautiful. As if I didn't know that. As an act of protest, I will sit between their pillows tonight and stare at them. All night. It kind of freaks them out, and I find it amusing.
Signed, Truffle (I like cat cookies, tuna and gummi bears. What? Your Mom doesn't give you the occasional gummi bear?)
Bonus picture: Why Ouzo always loses at Hide and Seek....
Signed, Ouzo (p.s. Please send cat cookies. Clearly these people are not giving me enough treats.)
The indignity of this season is really more than an elegant cat like myself should have to bear. Every year, the humans put this scarf on me, take pictures and tell me I am beautiful. As if I didn't know that. As an act of protest, I will sit between their pillows tonight and stare at them. All night. It kind of freaks them out, and I find it amusing.
Signed, Truffle (I like cat cookies, tuna and gummi bears. What? Your Mom doesn't give you the occasional gummi bear?)
Bonus picture: Why Ouzo always loses at Hide and Seek....
If only I were ...
I check in most days with Kerrie at "The Daily Headache" - of course I do. She get it. She understands.
When I hauled myself out of bed this afternoon, I read Kerrie's post on "faking it."
Read it. She's spot on with this post.
The best part:
Two parts of that last paragraph jump out at me. First "If only I were" - a faker that is. If only I had created these headaches to start with - it stands to reason therefore that I would also have the power to rid myself of them.
Second - "but my mind stalls at self-criticism" - wow. I am SO working on this, but it's difficult work, especially when you feel like a wet bag of sand.
Back in the day, I worked with a woman who experienced blistering migraines. I saw her try to come and work her shift. I saw the pain. I saw her walk around our department with a grocery bag in case she vomited.
Perhaps it is my experience with her that makes it so difficult for me to get my head around accusing or suspecting someone of "faking" that kind of condition. Honestly, even 15 years ago, before I had ever experienced a real headache, it would NOT have occurred to me to challenge the truth of my co-worker's suffering. When I look back now, I cannot imagine how she ever coped.
As it turns out, I was watching one of my favourite home design shows on tv this afternoon and the coordinator of a project said to the rest of the team "We're down one member today because (can't remember name) is out with a migraine."
One of the others on the design team said, ON CAMERA, "Yeah. Sure she is." (add extreme eye-rolling). The worst part? The rest of the team just carried on and let the comment go by. Either that, or they edited out the part where the coordinator said, "That kind of attitude is cruel, judgemental and has no basis in truth. Either shut up, or leave."
Oh wait. That was *me* who said that.
Just because you can't see pain does not mean it doesn't exist. Thank you Kerrie, for such a great post.
When I hauled myself out of bed this afternoon, I read Kerrie's post on "faking it."
Read it. She's spot on with this post.
The best part:
I'm holding tight to the good hours I've had in the last week. Thursday and Saturday started well; Friday was good overall. Each day I was up and active until the pain, fogginess and nausea overwhelmed me. I was thrilled to be doing chores.
This isn't the life of a faker. I'm not a faker. If only I were -- I could be free of this misery and piece my life back together. I know all this deep down, but my mind stalls at self-criticism. Today I hear the faint murmurings of truth hiding under layers of doubt and judgment.
Two parts of that last paragraph jump out at me. First "If only I were" - a faker that is. If only I had created these headaches to start with - it stands to reason therefore that I would also have the power to rid myself of them.
Second - "but my mind stalls at self-criticism" - wow. I am SO working on this, but it's difficult work, especially when you feel like a wet bag of sand.
Back in the day, I worked with a woman who experienced blistering migraines. I saw her try to come and work her shift. I saw the pain. I saw her walk around our department with a grocery bag in case she vomited.
Perhaps it is my experience with her that makes it so difficult for me to get my head around accusing or suspecting someone of "faking" that kind of condition. Honestly, even 15 years ago, before I had ever experienced a real headache, it would NOT have occurred to me to challenge the truth of my co-worker's suffering. When I look back now, I cannot imagine how she ever coped.
As it turns out, I was watching one of my favourite home design shows on tv this afternoon and the coordinator of a project said to the rest of the team "We're down one member today because (can't remember name) is out with a migraine."
One of the others on the design team said, ON CAMERA, "Yeah. Sure she is." (add extreme eye-rolling). The worst part? The rest of the team just carried on and let the comment go by. Either that, or they edited out the part where the coordinator said, "That kind of attitude is cruel, judgemental and has no basis in truth. Either shut up, or leave."
Oh wait. That was *me* who said that.
Just because you can't see pain does not mean it doesn't exist. Thank you Kerrie, for such a great post.
*THUNK*
* That would be the sound of the other shoe dropping.
I had a rough night - nausea, headache up to 8, insomnia, blah blah blah...
I got myself up and dressed and to the office, but I didn't even bother taking my coat off. I knew I wasn't well enough to stay. So, I collected the resources I had left at the church, and I'm now headed for bed with some ice.
Darn it all anyway.
I had a rough night - nausea, headache up to 8, insomnia, blah blah blah...
I got myself up and dressed and to the office, but I didn't even bother taking my coat off. I knew I wasn't well enough to stay. So, I collected the resources I had left at the church, and I'm now headed for bed with some ice.
Darn it all anyway.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Maybe it's the name...
We had a lower than usual turnout for our annual "Blue Christmas" service tonight. I'm good with that. Ministry is never about the numbers anyway. As long as the people who were there felt the presence of the Spirit and took some comfort away with them - that's all that matters.
You don't suppose the name of the service could give the wrong impression, do you?
Just kidding. It was a good night...
Now I'm going to go and open the front door to the screen to cool off my clammy bod. Isn't that a delightful image? I'm really hopeful at this point that this is still the result of switching meds, but who knows?
Headache status: a really solid 7 that hasn't worsened since 8:30 or so when I came home from the church. That is quite unexpected. Typically I can expect a sharp increase in pain after any evening event.
You don't suppose the name of the service could give the wrong impression, do you?
Just kidding. It was a good night...
Now I'm going to go and open the front door to the screen to cool off my clammy bod. Isn't that a delightful image? I'm really hopeful at this point that this is still the result of switching meds, but who knows?
Headache status: a really solid 7 that hasn't worsened since 8:30 or so when I came home from the church. That is quite unexpected. Typically I can expect a sharp increase in pain after any evening event.
The only constant thing is change
Jesus wasn't about finding the comfortable places and staying there. He was about seeking out and finding the needs of the day, and then going out to meet those needs. Spong is right. The church must change or die.
Just a thought for the day.
Just a thought for the day.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
There are two university degrees on my wall
Tonight I need to remind myself of this. I am not a *complete* moron. Right?
*crickets*
I was just now cleaning up to get ready for the night and noticed a bump on my forehead. Pillar was naturally curious about the bump. "What happened?" he asked.
Well, the shoes under my desk at work were looking messy this morning. I like them lined up in nice neat pairs. So I decided to create order out of my shoe chaos.
There was desk in the way of my head.
~THUNK~
Yup. Two post-secondary degrees.
I really really need some sleep. Or perhaps a shoe rack for my office.
*crickets*
I was just now cleaning up to get ready for the night and noticed a bump on my forehead. Pillar was naturally curious about the bump. "What happened?" he asked.
Well, the shoes under my desk at work were looking messy this morning. I like them lined up in nice neat pairs. So I decided to create order out of my shoe chaos.
There was desk in the way of my head.
~THUNK~
Yup. Two post-secondary degrees.
I really really need some sleep. Or perhaps a shoe rack for my office.
Tonight, Tonight...
...won't be just any night...
La la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Why am I singing Broadway musicals in the season of Advent? Tonight is my last scheduled night of utter sleeplessness and feeling Teh Ick.
I know what you're thinking. New meds take awhile to work. I'm far too sleep-deprived to hear that gracefully, so you might be wise to hold your tongue.
Tomorrow night. Perhaps sleep. Real sleep.
Tonight. Not so much, I suspect, but you can't blame a girl for trying.
La la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Why am I singing Broadway musicals in the season of Advent? Tonight is my last scheduled night of utter sleeplessness and feeling Teh Ick.
I know what you're thinking. New meds take awhile to work. I'm far too sleep-deprived to hear that gracefully, so you might be wise to hold your tongue.
Tomorrow night. Perhaps sleep. Real sleep.
Tonight. Not so much, I suspect, but you can't blame a girl for trying.
This is why we call her "St." Casserole
I could simply link to the most important post I have read in - well, ever - but I think I'll just cut and paste it.
These are the words our own St. Casserole who has ministered to my spirit many times, but especially this week.
Thanks my dear friend...
Just for this week, put aside: any worry that you are not living up to your Call, any concern that you are not doing enough in your ministry, any fear that you are not competent for ministry or worthy. Just for this week, trust God to take care of these for you. At the end of the week, you may if you wish, take back your worries and fears.
Ministry seldom shows results quickly. Ministry takes time. It's not how you feel about yourself this week or what that church member said to you in anger yesterday. Time will show the fruit of your work in God's good measure.
You run to the drug store with baby spit-up, a child's nose bleed or whatever down the front of your shirt. You see a church member and feel embarrassed. Don't. You've just shown your member that you are human, live a real life and aren't perfect. Many of our members worry that we are perfect. They are wrong to do this but our culture encourages thinking of some people as perfect so we fall into this trap. You look like a mess? Great. You freed the member from the trap.
You forget a portion of the worship service. Fine. Read the above paragraph. Relax.
That kid in confirmation class who looks as if he hates being there each week? He's the one who enters the ministry years from now leaving behind an insurance career because he hungers for serving God's people. You are part of his call to ministry.
See that woman over there? The one who looks at you like you are symbol of what is wrong with the entire planet? She's lonely. She's unhappy. She can't get along with anyone who matters to her. She knows something is wrong but can't figure how to ask for help. If only someone would move in closer to her rather than allow her pushing away to keep her isolated. Who knows, you may be the one. Or, not. Regardless, her response to you isn't personal.
While you contemplate repentance and waiting for the Kingdom to arrive, forget about time.
Just for this week. It's not about you and your success or failure. It's about God and God's sense of time is holy, welcoming and right.
St. Casserole
Amen.
These are the words our own St. Casserole who has ministered to my spirit many times, but especially this week.
Thanks my dear friend...
Just for this week, put aside: any worry that you are not living up to your Call, any concern that you are not doing enough in your ministry, any fear that you are not competent for ministry or worthy. Just for this week, trust God to take care of these for you. At the end of the week, you may if you wish, take back your worries and fears.
Ministry seldom shows results quickly. Ministry takes time. It's not how you feel about yourself this week or what that church member said to you in anger yesterday. Time will show the fruit of your work in God's good measure.
You run to the drug store with baby spit-up, a child's nose bleed or whatever down the front of your shirt. You see a church member and feel embarrassed. Don't. You've just shown your member that you are human, live a real life and aren't perfect. Many of our members worry that we are perfect. They are wrong to do this but our culture encourages thinking of some people as perfect so we fall into this trap. You look like a mess? Great. You freed the member from the trap.
You forget a portion of the worship service. Fine. Read the above paragraph. Relax.
That kid in confirmation class who looks as if he hates being there each week? He's the one who enters the ministry years from now leaving behind an insurance career because he hungers for serving God's people. You are part of his call to ministry.
See that woman over there? The one who looks at you like you are symbol of what is wrong with the entire planet? She's lonely. She's unhappy. She can't get along with anyone who matters to her. She knows something is wrong but can't figure how to ask for help. If only someone would move in closer to her rather than allow her pushing away to keep her isolated. Who knows, you may be the one. Or, not. Regardless, her response to you isn't personal.
While you contemplate repentance and waiting for the Kingdom to arrive, forget about time.
Just for this week. It's not about you and your success or failure. It's about God and God's sense of time is holy, welcoming and right.
St. Casserole
Amen.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Walking Update
Earlier this evening I decided that I already felt sweaty, clammy and in need of a shower so I decided I would do a few minutes on the treadmill before I cleaned up. It was a tough slog through the first half mile or so, but then I got into it and kept going.
Now, to bed.
This May Just Be a Christmas Miracle
It was SO wonderful to come home to a clean house. The Domestic Goddesses did a marvelous job, though the Lead Goddess did report that it would be awhile before the house was up to her standards of cleanliness. Embarrassing? Nah. Dude - I can't SEE the top of the fridge, why on earth would I remember to clean it?
In any case, I don't think it was the *worst* place she's cleaned, which is a relief. We are always a tidy home ready for visitors, but if you look too closely at the door frames or under the bed....well, just don't okay. Unless the DG has been here.
I'm loving this. *claps hands together in glee* It's like a Christmas miracle!
In other news, this detox thing sucks. I feel pukey. I also discovered that I've been wearing not one, but TWO, pieces of clothing inside out today. I'd rather not tell you which two they are, but someone could have told me about one of them. *blushing*
In any case, I don't think it was the *worst* place she's cleaned, which is a relief. We are always a tidy home ready for visitors, but if you look too closely at the door frames or under the bed....well, just don't okay. Unless the DG has been here.
I'm loving this. *claps hands together in glee* It's like a Christmas miracle!
In other news, this detox thing sucks. I feel pukey. I also discovered that I've been wearing not one, but TWO, pieces of clothing inside out today. I'd rather not tell you which two they are, but someone could have told me about one of them. *blushing*
God, Forgive me...
...but I feel an astonishing sense of satisfaction about the sentencing of Conrad "The-guy-who-wants-to-be-called-Lord" Black. This guy didn't get as much time as others whose crimes were similar, such as the World Com b*astards, but I'm still delighted that he will see the inside of a prison cell and call it home.
Is that wrong?
Ditto for this guy.
I can't help it really. It's just what I feel. Some people need to suffer serious consequences for their actions, especially when they feel absolutely no remorse for their crimes.
**********************************************************************************
I'm praying for the victims of the Colorado church shootings. How terribly tragic. I can't even imagine it.
Is that wrong?
Ditto for this guy.
I can't help it really. It's just what I feel. Some people need to suffer serious consequences for their actions, especially when they feel absolutely no remorse for their crimes.
**********************************************************************************
I'm praying for the victims of the Colorado church shootings. How terribly tragic. I can't even imagine it.
Random Points of Mondayness
* Listening to Sarah Harmer. She always, always, makes me feel like I've been wrapped in a warm blanket. Love her voice. It doesn't hurt that she's a passionate adovocate of the environment.
* I will be taking Trusty Rusty Van into the shop today for some winter care. A few months ago I was ready to send her to the curb with a sign saying: "Free to Good Home" but I feel very differently about her this week. Maybe she can hang on for another few years. If she's up to it, so am I.
* Domestic Goddess arrives in a few hours. Pillar has been endlessly entertained by my obsession with "tidying" before she arrives. *sigh*
* The kittehs are going to be so very unhappy with the DG. She's bringing her own vacuum.
* Huh. (nods heaad) This explains a lot. Perhaps Advent wasn't the best time to switch meds. Note to self...
* Three more days of it ("it" being H - E - Double Hockey Sticks), then I'm on to bigger and better things.
* Acetylcholine anyone????
* "Remember, that a syndrome is a group of symptoms. The four most common symptoms in one study included dizziness, nausea, lethargy, and headache (Haddad, 1997). Other symptoms include anxiety, parasthesia, confusion, tremor, sweating, insomnia, irritability, memory problems, problems with balance (dizziness, ataxia, vertigo)and anorexia."
* Anxiety - check.
Parasthesia - check. (tingling in extremities)
Confusion - check, but no more than usual. *double sigh*
Tremor - check. check.
Sweating - check. I prefer to think of it as a seasonal glow.
Insomnia - check.
Irriability - go ahead and check. B*tch.
Memory problems - not really, but who knows??
Problems with balance (dizziness, ataxia, vertigo) - check.
Anorexia - Of course not. The only one that would make my jeans fit again. However, I haven't eaten much since our huge feast on Friday night. But that was just a result of way too much good food.
* Despite all of that I am feeling surprising good. Until I start to sweat and feel nauseous.
* People to see, places to go. No time for teh Sick or teh Crazy, so I shall soldier on with my day.
* Where did that saying come from anyway? Soldiering on... If you know me, you know I would make the Worst Soldier Ever. I would have any military in chaos in minutes with my "Can't we all just be friends?" attitude. Whatever.
* Have a blessed Monday everyone.
Edited to add:
I didn't even bother posting the primary symptoms:
* headache - Duh. Check times 10.
* dizziness - check.
* nausea - check. Urp.
* lethargy - check.
* I will be taking Trusty Rusty Van into the shop today for some winter care. A few months ago I was ready to send her to the curb with a sign saying: "Free to Good Home" but I feel very differently about her this week. Maybe she can hang on for another few years. If she's up to it, so am I.
* Domestic Goddess arrives in a few hours. Pillar has been endlessly entertained by my obsession with "tidying" before she arrives. *sigh*
* The kittehs are going to be so very unhappy with the DG. She's bringing her own vacuum.
* Huh. (nods heaad) This explains a lot. Perhaps Advent wasn't the best time to switch meds. Note to self...
* Three more days of it ("it" being H - E - Double Hockey Sticks), then I'm on to bigger and better things.
* Acetylcholine anyone????
* "Remember, that a syndrome is a group of symptoms. The four most common symptoms in one study included dizziness, nausea, lethargy, and headache (Haddad, 1997). Other symptoms include anxiety, parasthesia, confusion, tremor, sweating, insomnia, irritability, memory problems, problems with balance (dizziness, ataxia, vertigo)and anorexia."
* Anxiety - check.
Parasthesia - check. (tingling in extremities)
Confusion - check, but no more than usual. *double sigh*
Tremor - check. check.
Sweating - check. I prefer to think of it as a seasonal glow.
Insomnia - check.
Irriability - go ahead and check. B*tch.
Memory problems - not really, but who knows??
Problems with balance (dizziness, ataxia, vertigo) - check.
Anorexia - Of course not. The only one that would make my jeans fit again. However, I haven't eaten much since our huge feast on Friday night. But that was just a result of way too much good food.
* Despite all of that I am feeling surprising good. Until I start to sweat and feel nauseous.
* People to see, places to go. No time for teh Sick or teh Crazy, so I shall soldier on with my day.
* Where did that saying come from anyway? Soldiering on... If you know me, you know I would make the Worst Soldier Ever. I would have any military in chaos in minutes with my "Can't we all just be friends?" attitude. Whatever.
* Have a blessed Monday everyone.
Edited to add:
I didn't even bother posting the primary symptoms:
* headache - Duh. Check times 10.
* dizziness - check.
* nausea - check. Urp.
* lethargy - check.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Sunday Summary
Worship this morning was lively and surprisingly energetic considering the sleepy-head leading the service. Actually, by the time I got to the church around 9:00, the caffeine had helped to drop the headache down to a manageable level.
The liturgical dancers were amazing as always. Our prayer shawl knitting group had knit every member of the group a prayer shawl and we surprised them today by presenting them with this sign of our gratitude. They have ministered to us so beautifully over the years and we wanted to show them how very much we appreciate them. They were deeply touched and loved their shawls.
We had a Board meeting after worship which was thankfully brief. Worship was way past the usual United Church One Hour Limit, so a brief Board meeting was a blessing to all of us.
I came home and slept until supper time. This early morning stuff is for the birds.
Tonight the headache is back to its standard evening strength of 7 so I'm taking my ice and heading to bed.
Tomorrow is a full day. I need to take the van in for some tlc at the mechanics. Also, our Domestic Goddess is coming in the afternoon to clean. Yay!
The liturgical dancers were amazing as always. Our prayer shawl knitting group had knit every member of the group a prayer shawl and we surprised them today by presenting them with this sign of our gratitude. They have ministered to us so beautifully over the years and we wanted to show them how very much we appreciate them. They were deeply touched and loved their shawls.
We had a Board meeting after worship which was thankfully brief. Worship was way past the usual United Church One Hour Limit, so a brief Board meeting was a blessing to all of us.
I came home and slept until supper time. This early morning stuff is for the birds.
Tonight the headache is back to its standard evening strength of 7 so I'm taking my ice and heading to bed.
Tomorrow is a full day. I need to take the van in for some tlc at the mechanics. Also, our Domestic Goddess is coming in the afternoon to clean. Yay!
This. Is. Just. Wrong.
I'm up and posting and 7:18.
That is not the problem. I've been up since 4:37 a.m. when I made the mistake of opening my eyes. I was having a perfectly fine dream about perfectly odd dream-things and then the whole "Am I still dreaming or am I awake?" phase set in for about twenty minutes (I think).
As I opened my eyes I realized I had been woken up by my headache pain. Over the past two years, I can still count the number of times that the pain has actually caused me to wake up. It's thankfully rare. Typically, once I'm asleep, I will wake up feeling less pain than I had at bedtime - around 4 or 5 most mornings, which is hardly noticeable to me any more.
I'm sitting uncomfortably at around 8 this morning. I just made a cup of strong coffee. Sometimes one jolt of caffeine will bring it down to 7.
I am SO not a morning person. Best time of the day my a$$.
Let's just keep a good thought and trust that the pain will be lessened by worship time. We have such an amazing service planned - liturgical dance, great Advent hymns (and no, that is not an oxymoron), White Gift collection by the children. It's all good, and I've looked forward to it all week.
I. Will. Be. Fine.
That is not the problem. I've been up since 4:37 a.m. when I made the mistake of opening my eyes. I was having a perfectly fine dream about perfectly odd dream-things and then the whole "Am I still dreaming or am I awake?" phase set in for about twenty minutes (I think).
As I opened my eyes I realized I had been woken up by my headache pain. Over the past two years, I can still count the number of times that the pain has actually caused me to wake up. It's thankfully rare. Typically, once I'm asleep, I will wake up feeling less pain than I had at bedtime - around 4 or 5 most mornings, which is hardly noticeable to me any more.
I'm sitting uncomfortably at around 8 this morning. I just made a cup of strong coffee. Sometimes one jolt of caffeine will bring it down to 7.
I am SO not a morning person. Best time of the day my a$$.
Let's just keep a good thought and trust that the pain will be lessened by worship time. We have such an amazing service planned - liturgical dance, great Advent hymns (and no, that is not an oxymoron), White Gift collection by the children. It's all good, and I've looked forward to it all week.
I. Will. Be. Fine.
Sunday Prayer
God of our Advent waiting, bless every searching heart as we make our way toward the celebration of Christmas. Thank you for the blessings of the season – gatherings that bring smiles and embraces – and souls that have found peace in the sense of your presence even amidst the chaos we know as Christmas.
For those who have food, shelter and love in abundance, may there be gratitude and sharing. For those whose struggle in life is too deep for words, may there be unexpected blessings and a sign of hope for the future.
God, we pray for all we have named here today and all we know to have need of your healing presence. We pray especially for those who are grieving at this time of the year, for those who are ill, or any who will be traveling.
We pray for all who are seeking a sense of purpose in this life, that their thirsty souls will be filled with a deep sense of your goodness and grace. God of our Advent searching, be with all who venture into the wilderness of the heart’s tenderness. May we find you wherever we go, and may we have strength to prepare the way for the One who came to show us your Way, Jesus Christ, who taught his friends to pray together saying…
For those who have food, shelter and love in abundance, may there be gratitude and sharing. For those whose struggle in life is too deep for words, may there be unexpected blessings and a sign of hope for the future.
God, we pray for all we have named here today and all we know to have need of your healing presence. We pray especially for those who are grieving at this time of the year, for those who are ill, or any who will be traveling.
We pray for all who are seeking a sense of purpose in this life, that their thirsty souls will be filled with a deep sense of your goodness and grace. God of our Advent searching, be with all who venture into the wilderness of the heart’s tenderness. May we find you wherever we go, and may we have strength to prepare the way for the One who came to show us your Way, Jesus Christ, who taught his friends to pray together saying…
Friday, December 07, 2007
Help Me Out Here...
Can someone please explain to me where cats learn to hurl only on hard-to-clean surfaces? Is this part of kitten instruction? Perhaps Whistle would know, being a student of cat history.
I removed Truffle from the dining room table this afternoon because she had a rather, shall we say, "wet" sounding burp. Yes, I know, all of you non-cat people are saying "Eeeeewwwww, a cat on the table" - but that's kind of the norm around here. We change the tablecloth for company. Honest.
Anyway, just when I thought the moment had passed, Truffle made her way onto our bed.
Of course she did.
Is there some reason that she couldn't have yakked on the hardwood floors, or perhaps the ugly linoleum in the kitchen?
I removed Truffle from the dining room table this afternoon because she had a rather, shall we say, "wet" sounding burp. Yes, I know, all of you non-cat people are saying "Eeeeewwwww, a cat on the table" - but that's kind of the norm around here. We change the tablecloth for company. Honest.
Anyway, just when I thought the moment had passed, Truffle made her way onto our bed.
Of course she did.
Is there some reason that she couldn't have yakked on the hardwood floors, or perhaps the ugly linoleum in the kitchen?
Massage Day!
I'm taking a short break from Teh Sermon. Do you ever find that sermons are harder to write with a clock sitting on your shoulder demanding that you pay attention to it? Metaphorically speaking of course. Tomorrow is just too full to do any sermon writing, so this work of brilliance must be finished this afternoon.
Tonight we have a Family Christmas dinner - this is a first for us. It has become too difficult for Pillar to make his way into the homes of any of my family members, so instead of trying to do that on Christmas day, we are all heading out to one of our favourite restaurants to celebrate Christmas together in a new way. The restaurant is quiet, elegant and a great place to relax together and catch up. I'm looking forward to it.
I get to wear my new red shoes! *claps hands together in excitement* Clearly I'm not that difficult to entertain. Red shoes = fun!
Tomorrow I need to let the liturgical dancers into the church in the morning to rehearse for Sunday's service. This is an entirely delightful task - I've gotten to know the dancers over the years and always look forward to seeing them again. And of course, the choreographer is a soul friend who reminds me that I do actually live in a human body that might need some occasional attention, just as my over-worked mind might need a break.
Thus, the massage. I have been faithful over this past year about getting a massage every other Friday. This, plus Healing Touch, progressive muscle relaxation and some other good mind/body exercises have made a difference. Yes, I still have headaches - but imagine how bad they would be if I had not taken care of my body over the past year.
Back to it....
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Dude, That's my Jesus...
Okay, okay, I know that a lot of my clergy colleagues, among others, find the tune "Mary Did You Know?" to be really annoying, sappy sweet, and just generally agregious. My deepest apologies.
Me? I'm not so negatively affected by it. But that is not why I've posted it. It's the video. Watch to the very end until there is a shot of "Jesus" (a very handsome version, I might add) on a beach. He waves his hand toward the camera as an invitation. When I watched it for the first time, I just froze. I had seen it before, but not on YouTube.
Here's the story. (It's from an ancient post here a few years ago....if it's old news to you, please feel free to move on) I did an interview and the following was my response to question #1.
1. How did you know that the ministry was right for you?
The fact that I am an ordained minister still surprises me at times. I didn’t come from a church-going family, and in fact did not attend any church service until the age of sixteen. So I wasn’t one of those children who grew up thinking “I want to be a minister when I grow up.”
Pillar’s Dad, also a UCCan minister, is largely responsible for my spiritual nurture and teaching up to the age of 24 or so when he accepted a call in another city. Those eight years made all the difference in the world. He showed me what the word “pastor” means. He is gentle and caring and good – he is the kind of minister I hope I can be one day. I’ve had other mentors, but he stands out as the one with the most influence.
Just before my Mom became ill in 1991 (the same year that Pillar was diagnosed with MS), I had been planning to take a very important step. I wanted to try my hand at a university course. This was huge for me. I had taken a two year diploma course in Laboratory Technology in 1978 and since 1980 had been working in the blood bank department at one of our local hospitals. It was a good job, I was working with great people, and I was a hard worker with excellent annual reviews.
I had never been to university. Something was nudging me to get back to school. In hindsight, that “something” was the Holy Spirit with her foot in the middle of my back, pushing me to get this ministry underway.
I began with Intro Philosophy in the fall of 1992, sure that I would fail and get back to my normal life almost immediately. I had always been an average student and really only excelled in English Literature. Science and Math, not so much. How then, did I end up in a clinical laboratory? God knows.
Well, I took the course and I didn't fail. I got an A and discovered that what I lacked in linear, mathematical thinking, I made up for in critical thinking and creativity.
As I was working on my BA, I started wondering what I would do next. I had this feeling that as much as I liked my job and appreciated the security of my pension and benefits, there was something else I was supposed to be doing with my life. I looked into Social Work programs, Education and Psychology, but I always came back to the same place. Ministry.
Of course, like so many others who begin to hear a call to ministry, I resisted. The conversation went something like this:
Me: “You’re kidding, right?”
God: “No, not at all.”
Me: “But you know me. You know how shy I am. Can’t you find me something I can do in a quiet room by myself?”
God: “Sorry kid. You’ve got gifts to share and it’s time.”
Me: “But it’s going to be so difficult. What about my family? Where will we find the money and the strength to do all this?”
God: “Don’t worry. Just take the first step, then another, and another.”
So I did. I told Pillar, with my voice shaking, “I think maybe I’m being called to ministry.” He said, “Of course you are. I had a conversation with my Mother two years ago and we both knew you were headed in that direction. We’re all with you, Sue.”
So we worked it out. And we took that first step together – me, Pillar, our wonderful boys, and my in-laws who made it all possible in so many ways.
I still haven’t answered the question.
How did I know ministry was right for me? A dream.
I had a dream that I was in this huge desert with sand dunes spread out as far as the eye could see. I was alone and then I saw a crowd of people approaching from my right side. They were being led by a man wearing a long tunic. As they got closer to me I could see that this group of people was very diverse and very happy. They were laughing and singing and celebrating something and I wanted desperately to join them. Then they passed directly in front of me and I still couldn’t work up the courage to step into the group and join them. I wasn’t sure if I would be welcome.
Soon the crowd was almost past me and I was anxious that they would leave me behind. Then the man at the front of the crowd, whom I identified as Jesus, stepped out from his place and looked back at me. He laughed a bit and shook his head as if to say “You’re welcome here! How could you not know that?!” Then he waved his hand in the direction of the crowd, indicating that I should step in and join the celebration. So I did, and I felt the most profound sense of peace I have ever experienced in a dream.
Then I woke up with tears flowing down my face.
That dream, plus the support and care of more people than I can possibly name, and the sense of God’s presence with me in my ministry, have affirmed time and time again that ministry is indeed the right vocation for me.
************************************************************************************
Ok folks, no kidding - the video Jesus looks EXACTLY like my dream Jesus. It kind of freaked me out a little, like seeing an old friend after several years. This must sound very odd to all of you, because it's even sounding odd to me, so I'll just go back to my odd little world now.
As you were...
Sobering Realities
Fabulous did an amazing job with his presentation at the University. All of the speakers were good, but his part was especially informative and compassionate.
Now that I think of it, our whole family is pretty comfortable in front of a microphone. Pillar and Awesome have always been at ease in front of a crowd and very skilled at public speaking, and in the past few years, Fabulous has gained even more experience with presentations like today's. Interesting...we're probably a bit unique in that respect.
We're sort of like the Von Trapp family of social issues.... without the leider-hosen made of curtains, of course.
The candle-lighting ceremony was moving and the speakers all reminded us of the sobering statistics around women and violence.
The speaker from the local Women's Center talked about how the Federal and Provinicial governments have dropped the ball in terms of advocating for women and children. Last year the Feds stopped funding all Status of Women Canada programs. It was in the news for a few days, but the effects have been devasating for women every day since the programs were cancelled. Violence against women connects to so many other social issues, particularly poverty.
It seems like such a huge mountain of an issue, mostly because it IS a huge mountain of a problem. Where is our outrage? Where is our government? Why Why Why do women and children have to be the first to suffer government funding cuts? What can we do as a church when money is the solution to so many needs? We may not have money in abundance but we do have compassion. Is that enough? Or is it the church's task to lobby governments to do more to defend women in the first place?
Pondering....
Now that I think of it, our whole family is pretty comfortable in front of a microphone. Pillar and Awesome have always been at ease in front of a crowd and very skilled at public speaking, and in the past few years, Fabulous has gained even more experience with presentations like today's. Interesting...we're probably a bit unique in that respect.
We're sort of like the Von Trapp family of social issues.... without the leider-hosen made of curtains, of course.
The candle-lighting ceremony was moving and the speakers all reminded us of the sobering statistics around women and violence.
The speaker from the local Women's Center talked about how the Federal and Provinicial governments have dropped the ball in terms of advocating for women and children. Last year the Feds stopped funding all Status of Women Canada programs. It was in the news for a few days, but the effects have been devasating for women every day since the programs were cancelled. Violence against women connects to so many other social issues, particularly poverty.
It seems like such a huge mountain of an issue, mostly because it IS a huge mountain of a problem. Where is our outrage? Where is our government? Why Why Why do women and children have to be the first to suffer government funding cuts? What can we do as a church when money is the solution to so many needs? We may not have money in abundance but we do have compassion. Is that enough? Or is it the church's task to lobby governments to do more to defend women in the first place?
Pondering....
Say Their Names...
December 6th is Canada's National day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women. Our son Fabulous is speaking at the annual event at the University this afternoon. I'm looking forward to hearing what he says.
This is from the National Web Site:
Established in 1991 by the Parliament of Canada, this day marks the anniversary of the murders in 1989 of 14 young women at l'École Polytechnique de Montréal. They died because they were women.
As well as commemorating the 14 young women whose lives ended in an act of gender-based violence that shocked the nation, December 6 represents an opportunity for Canadians to reflect on the phenomenon of violence against women in our society. It is also an opportunity to consider the women and girls for whom violence is a daily reality, and to remember those who have died as a result of gender-based violence. And finally, it is a day on which communities can consider concrete actions to eliminate all forms of violence against women and girls.
Do me a favour please. When you think of the 14 women who died in 1989, say their names. Do not name their killer aloud. He needs no more infamy. God is responsible for his destiny, not Canadians. Let him go.
But let us hold on to the women's names. Let's not forget who they were, and what they represent for women and men everywhere.
In remembrance of:
Geneviéve Bergeron
Héléne Colgan
Nathalie Croteau
Barbara Daigneault
Anne-Marie Edward
Maud Haviernick
Barbara Klucznik Widajewicz
Maryse Laganiére
Maryse Leclair
Anne-Marie Lemay
Sonia Pelletier
Michéle Richard
Annie St.-Arneault
Annie Turcotte
We must never forget!
This is from the National Web Site:
Established in 1991 by the Parliament of Canada, this day marks the anniversary of the murders in 1989 of 14 young women at l'École Polytechnique de Montréal. They died because they were women.
As well as commemorating the 14 young women whose lives ended in an act of gender-based violence that shocked the nation, December 6 represents an opportunity for Canadians to reflect on the phenomenon of violence against women in our society. It is also an opportunity to consider the women and girls for whom violence is a daily reality, and to remember those who have died as a result of gender-based violence. And finally, it is a day on which communities can consider concrete actions to eliminate all forms of violence against women and girls.
Do me a favour please. When you think of the 14 women who died in 1989, say their names. Do not name their killer aloud. He needs no more infamy. God is responsible for his destiny, not Canadians. Let him go.
But let us hold on to the women's names. Let's not forget who they were, and what they represent for women and men everywhere.
In remembrance of:
Geneviéve Bergeron
Héléne Colgan
Nathalie Croteau
Barbara Daigneault
Anne-Marie Edward
Maud Haviernick
Barbara Klucznik Widajewicz
Maryse Laganiére
Maryse Leclair
Anne-Marie Lemay
Sonia Pelletier
Michéle Richard
Annie St.-Arneault
Annie Turcotte
We must never forget!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
It's More Than a River in Africa
So I just got out of a nice hot tub with lots of bubbles. As I was drying off I noticed in the mirror over the sink that despite my usual routine of washing my face, my mascara was still badly smudged under my eyes. That usually doesn't happen, and I haven't changed brands or anything. Odd, I thought.
So I dried off and took a closer look.
Not smudged mascara.
Not Cinderella-style soot.
Nope.
Just pain.
Appropriate though isn't it? I wrestle with pain and end up looking like a prize-fighter when I'm losing the fight.
I took a ridiculous amount of medicine tonight and still have very little relief from the pain. I'm not sure what tomorrow is going to bring, but unless my head feels better, I don't think I'll be going far.
So I dried off and took a closer look.
Not smudged mascara.
Not Cinderella-style soot.
Nope.
Just pain.
Appropriate though isn't it? I wrestle with pain and end up looking like a prize-fighter when I'm losing the fight.
I took a ridiculous amount of medicine tonight and still have very little relief from the pain. I'm not sure what tomorrow is going to bring, but unless my head feels better, I don't think I'll be going far.
Health Day
It sounds so much better than "sick day" doesn't it? I went into the office this morning after a night of wrestling with the pain monster. I'm typically okay once I get to sleep, but not last night. I woke up several times with that "Hot-Blade-In-The-Temple" feeling that was so intense I was tearing up, but only on the right side. Apparently I had been doing so in my sleep because my pillow was wet too.
I sat up for awhile as I waited for the pain meds to kick in. The television screen was too bright and I couldn't concentrate enough to read, so I just sat in the dark and made the kittehs very curious.
When the alarm went off I was still hurting at around 8 out of 10 on the pain-o-meter. Should I have stayed at home? In hindsight, yes. But I got myself ready, scraped the ice off the car windows (we're parking on the street - we will not be getting anywhere near our garage for the next while as there is still three feet of drifted snow in the laneway), and headed off to the church.
I lasted until around 11:00 and then with the encouragement of my clergy friend who does healing touch, as well as our office admin wonder-woman, I went home. Clergy friend said a prayer with me before I left. Some days it feels so healing to be on the receiving end of a pastoral prayer - thanks R.
I slept until 4:00. The cats were, of course, loving me for sleeping all day. Pillar ordered supper in, and now I'm heading back to bed with some more ice.
And that is pretty much how I spent my health day.
I sat up for awhile as I waited for the pain meds to kick in. The television screen was too bright and I couldn't concentrate enough to read, so I just sat in the dark and made the kittehs very curious.
When the alarm went off I was still hurting at around 8 out of 10 on the pain-o-meter. Should I have stayed at home? In hindsight, yes. But I got myself ready, scraped the ice off the car windows (we're parking on the street - we will not be getting anywhere near our garage for the next while as there is still three feet of drifted snow in the laneway), and headed off to the church.
I lasted until around 11:00 and then with the encouragement of my clergy friend who does healing touch, as well as our office admin wonder-woman, I went home. Clergy friend said a prayer with me before I left. Some days it feels so healing to be on the receiving end of a pastoral prayer - thanks R.
I slept until 4:00. The cats were, of course, loving me for sleeping all day. Pillar ordered supper in, and now I'm heading back to bed with some more ice.
And that is pretty much how I spent my health day.
Monday, December 03, 2007
In the interest of Fabulosity
Today was a rough day. On many levels and for many reasons I'm not interested in sharing, it was just a very difficult day.
So imagine my delight when I was able to come home at the end of the day and try on the dress and shoes I ordered online from JC Penny. Yes folks, some days a new pair of shoes and a pretty dress can lift the spirit in exactly the right way. Materialistic? Feeding the Evil Consumer Machine? Sure. But some days, it works. Today was one of those days.
As far as I know, this is the FIRST pair of red shoes I have ever owned. I may have had a pair as a very young child, but if I did, I have forgotten them.
How can it be that InnerDorothy has gone so long without ruby slippers? I was waiting for just the right pair, and I believe I have found them. They feel amazing and I completely love them. The dress is exactly the right fit too.
It's not a bad way to end an otherwise tough day. On a related note, just let me say that my mother-in-law is the best MIL EVER. She is so supportive and compassionate. Yup, I'm blessed.
And now, because I know you can't wait to see them....
....I give you....
...the ruby slippers.
So imagine my delight when I was able to come home at the end of the day and try on the dress and shoes I ordered online from JC Penny. Yes folks, some days a new pair of shoes and a pretty dress can lift the spirit in exactly the right way. Materialistic? Feeding the Evil Consumer Machine? Sure. But some days, it works. Today was one of those days.
As far as I know, this is the FIRST pair of red shoes I have ever owned. I may have had a pair as a very young child, but if I did, I have forgotten them.
How can it be that InnerDorothy has gone so long without ruby slippers? I was waiting for just the right pair, and I believe I have found them. They feel amazing and I completely love them. The dress is exactly the right fit too.
It's not a bad way to end an otherwise tough day. On a related note, just let me say that my mother-in-law is the best MIL EVER. She is so supportive and compassionate. Yup, I'm blessed.
And now, because I know you can't wait to see them....
....I give you....
...the ruby slippers.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Snow Day!!
This is the view out our front door this morning. The truck on the right hand side of the picture is our neighbour's dad's full size pickup truck - it is all but buried in the snow.
This is me as I'm heading out the door to walk over to the church - or to climb Everest - whatever. I'm wearing my MEC jacket that I purchased in 1996 and my LLBean polar fleece pants that I wore to school every day during my undergrad years of 1992-1995. They are VERY warm and fuzzy.
The front door was blocked by three feet of snow. This is the back door, which I could open up enough to get out of the house.
This is a picture of Truffle's new pink animal print collar. Lovely, yes?
This is me as I'm heading out the door to walk over to the church - or to climb Everest - whatever. I'm wearing my MEC jacket that I purchased in 1996 and my LLBean polar fleece pants that I wore to school every day during my undergrad years of 1992-1995. They are VERY warm and fuzzy.
The front door was blocked by three feet of snow. This is the back door, which I could open up enough to get out of the house.
This is a picture of Truffle's new pink animal print collar. Lovely, yes?
"It Came Upon a Midnight Weird"
As promised, here is the link to this year's Cavalcade of Bad Nativities.
16
We had sixteen hearty souls out for worship today. Our usual congregation would have been more like 70 or 80. But as you know, wherever two or more are gathered...
We shared a lovely, intimate communion service. We had a semi-circle of chairs at the front of the sanctuary and a choir of four wonderful voices. God's presence was palpable. We were casual, comfortable and warm. Several of us had walked to church through the snow, others had spent the morning shoveling and snowblowing. With rosy cheeks and that mysterious energy that comes with a snowstorm, we sang the first of our Advent/Christmas hymns and heard Isaiah's prophetic word.
The liturgically-correct blue lights on the Christmas tree glowed beside me as I broke the bread and lifted the cup. The star on top of the tree reminded us of another star long ago - thanks to P & J for the gift - it looks wonderful! The special Nativity set (on loan again this year - thank you H!) told the story of our faith in elegant beauty.
All that plus cake after worship! And butter tarts!
I was mistaken earlier. There was not a foot of snow. It was more like three. When I stepped outside the back door to walk to the church, I was hip deep in drifted snow. The street in front of our house was no better. I walked a long way before I came to a street that was ploughed out. I'm counting my walking miles as double for all the work involved in getting through the snow!
I'll post some pictures of the snow later on this afternoon. Now - nappage.
We shared a lovely, intimate communion service. We had a semi-circle of chairs at the front of the sanctuary and a choir of four wonderful voices. God's presence was palpable. We were casual, comfortable and warm. Several of us had walked to church through the snow, others had spent the morning shoveling and snowblowing. With rosy cheeks and that mysterious energy that comes with a snowstorm, we sang the first of our Advent/Christmas hymns and heard Isaiah's prophetic word.
The liturgically-correct blue lights on the Christmas tree glowed beside me as I broke the bread and lifted the cup. The star on top of the tree reminded us of another star long ago - thanks to P & J for the gift - it looks wonderful! The special Nativity set (on loan again this year - thank you H!) told the story of our faith in elegant beauty.
All that plus cake after worship! And butter tarts!
I was mistaken earlier. There was not a foot of snow. It was more like three. When I stepped outside the back door to walk to the church, I was hip deep in drifted snow. The street in front of our house was no better. I walked a long way before I came to a street that was ploughed out. I'm counting my walking miles as double for all the work involved in getting through the snow!
I'll post some pictures of the snow later on this afternoon. Now - nappage.
Oh. My.
There is a foot of snow out there. And it is still coming down and drifting heavily. I will be walking over to LCotC this morning. No worries though, at least I'll get my walking in early in the day.
This is the time that a dog team and a sled would come in handy.
This is the time that a dog team and a sled would come in handy.
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